#but I’m hoping that they’ll let me live long enough to do something that WILL be long term

[eternallynamelessvoid]

I think I’m getting carried away with my characters again. Just a little obsessed. I mean, why bother telling your friends you want to die when you can tell your mental-besties?

At least They want me alive. Maybe I should make a list of them- well their abbreviated names. Wouldn’t want IRL people to find this. I Do Not wish to get sent to a mental hospital, I think I would actually just die.

Anyways, Lists. [What I’m naming characters below]

STB - 1a

NOA - 2a

RBN - 3a

CTH - 4a

SHO - 1b

CDR - 2b

SAP - 3b

CLN - 4b

IRI - 1c

HTH - 2c

ANM - 3c

[no fourth]

Maybe later I’ll add what they are for me, like what they do.

[Also I think it’s important to note that this is not me having DID, I am NOT a system. These characters are glorified chat-boxes.

The difference is that people in Plural-Systems are real, my characters, no matter what, won’t be fully real.]

[artdolliewishes]

With us getting the newest installment of book seven, this time with Kalim and Jamil’s “perfect world” dreams, I would like every other Yuu Harem enthusiast to consider the idea that Malleus unintentionally exposed literally everyone’s crush on Yuu to their face.

Because everyone’s dreams would have one thing in common with one another and that’s the fact that Yuu is 1. around somehow, usually having decided to stay in Twisted Wonderland rather than return home, and 2. is dating the dreamer.

And it especially sucks if they had done a good job at hiding their feelings and now Yuu knows about not only their feelings, but the feelings of all their competition. Literally it is just-

Everyone’s dreams: *has a fake version of Yuu staying in Twisted Wonderland forever and is in a dedicated romantic relationship with the dreamer*

The real Yuu, seeing all this happen with their own two eyes: I’m sensing a pattern here

And then when everyone wakes up, Yuu just has to hit them with the “is there something anyone wants to talk to me about?” meanwhile everyone is stumbling over their own words, cursing Malleus for exposing them.

Also if we take this in a yandere route then it’s even WORSE cause Yuu gets to see the extent at which the dreamer adores them, to the obsessive and possessive level I mean. Like no one else talking to their dream version, or if they get mistaken for their counterpart by the dreamer then they’ll see the dreamer get cold towards any npcs that try to talk to them.

Or even dream Yuu doing something uncharacteristic like ditching their friends or, heaven forbid, Grim in favor of the dreamer.

Everyone: *gets to live out their obsessive fantasies with Yuu in the dream where they���re willingly isolated*

Yuu: Once this is over, we all need to have a long discussion about boundaries

Instead of being just simply embarrassed, the yandere version of the boys would be downright upset and crying because they’ve been exposed and now think that Yuu doesn’t love them anymore. Some are begging, others weeping, you get the idea.

Let’s just hope Yuu has enough patience to let it go until after Malleus’ overblot is dealt with.

[naviiq]

7#-> 💌: a letter has arrived from satoru gojo.

dear y/n,

pretty abrupt.. if this gets through, if you're not bawling your pretty little eyes out then i am dead. i know it's a little sudden to start this letter off but.. i don't wanna sugarcoat it because i know it’s going to hurt you more than i can even imagine. i didn’t want it to end like this, not like this, but here we are. and honestly, after everything, i think i’m okay with it.

i don’t want you to feel anger right now. i don’t want you to feel regret. this isn’t your fault. if there’s anyone to blame, it’s me. it’s always been me. i knew the risks, i knew what i was up against, but i kept pushing forward. i know this isn’t how you’d want to hear it. i know you’re going to hate me for leaving you with nothing but these words. this letter is all i have left to give you. i know it won’t make up for anything. but i’m trying, in the only way i know how. if there’s any justice in this world, you’ll get it. for me, for us. and maybe, just maybe, it’ll be enough to make things right again.

i think about what could’ve been. what we could’ve had. you and me. together. free from all of this. i’d take you away, y/n, if i could. to somewhere safe, somewhere quiet. no more curses, no more fighting, no more deaths. just us, finally living a life without the weight of the world on our shoulders. but it’s not going to happen, is it? the way things are, the way the world works, it was always a dream. too big. too much. something even i wasn’t able to achieve.

but.. y/n, it’s strange. the moment i saw my own blood, the moment i knew this was it, i realized something. for all the years i’ve spent knowing to be invincible, the one thing i never considered was the idea of you. of you being the one who’d have to pick up the pieces. of you carrying the weight of everything i couldn’t save. and i need you to know this isn’t your burden to bear.

i’m sorry. i’m so sorry. i really am, you were the most wonderful partner i could ever be with.

if i could have stayed, i would’ve. you know that. but that’s not how it ended. i want you to live. i want you to find a way to be happy again. i don’t care how long it takes, or how hard it is. i want you to find that peace, even if i’m not there to see it.

you deserve justice for everything. for the pain, for the loss, for the rage you’ll feel when you read these words and realize you won’t ever get another chance to hold me again. i don’t know if this world will ever be just. i don’t know if they’ll ever pay for what they did to us. but i trust you to do what needs to be done. you always were the better one, even if you didn’t know it. just don’t lose yourself. that’s all i ask of you.

this letter is all i have left to give you. and i know it won’t make up for anything. i wish i could say more. i wish i could say goodbye in a way that wouldn’t leave you crying. i wish i could be there to hold you, to kiss you, to tell you that i love you one more time. but this is all i have left. these words. and maybe, just maybe, they’ll be enough to make sure you know how much i loved you, though i understand that’ll be unlikely. but i hope that, one day, you’ll read this and know that i loved you. that i will always love you.

listen, i know you’re going to fight. i know that rage is going to take over you— the same rage that’s been inside me during this time. but please, please don’t let it consume you. don’t let it make you lose yourself. i don’t want you to become someone else because of me. i don’t want you to walk down the same path that i did, believing that the only way to get justice is through bloodshed. you’re better than that. you always were.

this is it. there’s a part of me that wishes i could have done more, that wishes i could have fought harder, that wishes i could have come up with some plan, some way to get us both out of this hellhole of a world. but i’m done pretending. i’m done trying to outsmart fate.

i know what’s coming, y/n. and i’ve made peace with it. maybe it’s because i’ve been facing the inevitable for so long that it’s not as terrifying as it should be. but that doesn’t mean i’m not afraid. i’m afraid of leaving you behind. i’m afraid of not being able to make things right. i’m afraid of knowing that you’ll have to live without me.

i’m sorry. i’m sorry i couldn’t be there for you. i’m sorry that this world took me from you. but i want you to keep going. for me. for us. please, y/n. keep living. for me. for us. find a way to heal. find a way to move forward. i won’t be there to help you. i won’t be there to hold your hand, but i’ll always be with you in the pieces of your heart. i’ll always be there, just like i promised.

i know how this sounds. i know how it feels to read words on a page that won’t ever bring me back, and that’s the hardest thing about this. i’m writing this to you, and it’s just a letter. it’s all i have. but i need you to understand that you have so much more than this. you have everything you need to keep going.

i’m so fucking sorry. forgive me, please. forgive me for leaving you like this, for doing this to you. i never wanted to hurt you. i never wanted to put you through any of this. but here we are. and now, this is the reality we’re facing. i know it’s not fair. nothing about this is.

i wish i could’ve seen your smile once more. it’s imprinted in my brain, like a photo i can’t shake, but no matter how hard i try, it’s never enough. every time i close my eyes, i can still picture it— that soft, cute smile that always makes everything feel okay. you have no idea how much it means to me, y/n. that smile, that light, it was the one thing i could hold onto when everything around me seemed dark. i’ve spent so much of my life chasing after something, trying to make a difference. but in the end, it was you. your smile. your warmth. that was the real answer, the thing that kept me grounded. and now, knowing i’ll never see it again, it’s like a part of me is missing. i’ll carry it with me, but it's not the same. i want to hold onto that memory forever, but i can’t shake the feeling that it’s slipping away. and that hurts more than i can put into words.

goodness, i’m tearing up, how silly. ironic.

there’s so much i love about you. it’s impossible to list it all, but if i could, i would tell you about the way your eyes light up when you laugh, how it’s like the whole world falls away and nothing else matters. i love the way you’re always thinking of others, even when you’re carrying your own weight. you never asked for the world to be this way, and yet, you still choose to fight. i love how you challenge me, how you make me want to be better, even when i thought i was already everything i could be. but more than that, i love how you loved me. even when i was too reckless, too wild, too lost. when i couldn’t even love myself fully, you made me believe that i was worth something.

you made me feel like i was home. i don’t think i’ve ever truly felt like i belonged after suguru, somewhere until i met you. with you, i could finally breathe. i could finally let my guard down. there’s something about the way you hold me, like everything’s going to be okay, even when it’s not. i’ll carry that feeling with me, y/n, even as i’m fading away. it’s the only thing that gives me peace right now.

but damn, it hurts knowing i’ll never get to hold you like that again, to hear your voice call my name, to feel your hand in mine. the world’s going to keep turning, and i won’t be there for you when you need me most. and that breaks me more than anything. but if you can, if you can find a way to move on, just know that i’ll always be in your heart. always. even if it feels like i’m gone, know that a part of me will always be with you. it’s just the part of me that loves you most.

i’m sorry for not being there. when i wasn’t there for the quiet moments, the ones that mattered most. and now, all i have is this— these words, these apologies, and a lifetime of regret i won’t get to undo. i’m sorry for the pain i caused you, for all the times i didn’t

show up when i promised i would. i’m sorry i made you feel alone in the one thing that should’ve brought us together. at least our last conversation we had wasn’t a big fight. i’m glad for that. but i’m also sad that will be our last.

but hey, i'm gonna die with a smile. not because it's easy, obviously, but because i'm okay with it, because for a second, just for a second, i had something real. something worth fighting for. we had our good moments, right? those little pieces of time where everything felt right, when it was just you and me against the world. i wouldn't trade that for anything. so yeah, i’m smiling, even now, because i got to love you. even if it’s only for a moment, it’s more than some people ever get. and that’s enough for me.

goodbye, my sweetheart. don’t forget me.

i love you.

from, satoru gojo.

p.s. i love you. more than i’ll ever be able to put into words. and in the end, that’s all i really have to give you. my love. always and forever.

[fairyyobrien]

Avoided Love (Part 2)

Thank y’all so much for all the likes and reblogging the first part and I hope y’all enjoy part 2. I’m also thinking of making it a mini series if I get enough likes. I wanna thank @iloveetoeatbananas the most. Thank you for the love! And thank you for requesting a part 2 😊

Part 1 is here - avoided-love

—

You hear a loud and quick knock downstairs. You were thankful your parents were on their business trip they took every once a month. You quickly shuffle off the bed and run downstairs.

You answer the door to a very nervous and worried Scott. “Are your parents home?” He asked quietly. “No thank God.. they’re on their business trip” you reply back quickly shutting the door. “Where’s stiles..?” He looks around. “He disappeared after I got off the phone with you..” you look at him with worry. “Scott what the hell is going on!”

“It’s a really long story. He’s been possessed by an evil fox spirit. Called the Nogitsune. Also known as void. He feeds off fear and pain..”. “Did he do something to you Y/N?” “H-he kissed me… before you called me” you say your eyes starting to water. Scott notices and quickly pulls you in for a hug. “Hey y/n it’s okay he did it to mess with stiles. To mess with all of us. He’s living off that fear. I know you’re scared but we’re gonna get stiles back”. You both pull away and you nod wiping your eyes. “Let’s call the others and have a meeting” he says pulling out his phone.

Once everyone got to your house you all decided to come up with a plan. You all met up at Derek’s apartment the next night. Everyone was surrounding Stiles. He looked to you and smirked. You catch his gaze and quickly look down to avoid his stare.

—

“You’re here to protect me” was the last thing you heard Stiles say. Within a matter of seconds he took your hand into his and disappeared into the night leaving no trace. Scott looked around the room confused he noticed something wasn’t right. “Where is y/n!” He shouted.

Everyone looked at each other wide eyed. Argent looked to Scott - “stiles is gone and he took y/n with him”.

You wake up to a loud dripping noise. You groan and rub your neck. You rub your eyes trying to gain some clarity. You quickly glance around realizing you’re in an old dusty basement. “Good morning little dove” void whispers once again caressing your cheek in his hands. You look up at him, trying your best to remain calm. “Mmm I can taste your fear. You’re scared for your life aren’t you? Your heart beat is racing”. He chuckles and smirks.

“My friends will find me they’ll-”. “Oh I know little dove. They know I took you here. Unfortunately for you and them when they finally do get here you won’t be here anymore”. You shake and feel the goosebumps as he whispers those words into your ear.

He lifts your chin up, staring into your gaze. “You know Stiles is going crazy right now. He hates that I’m doing this to you.. all of you”. Once again you hear him chuckle. “He hates that I went to your house that night. Hates that I felt your touch, or how I made you moan. And he hates that I felt it all before him. Haha just like right now. He wants you to find an escape”.

He cups your face smirking again. He brushes his lips past yours and presses them down, kissing you roughly as a tear falls down your face. He pulls away still smirking. “Too bad for all of you. Goodnight little dove” he whispers and you look at him in confusion just before you’re knocked out again.

—

I’m so sorry if this sucked some parts were a little rushed. Should I make a part 3?

[softxsuki]

FOR YOUR EVENT !!

it’s meee, your number one fan :))

congrats on hitting 1.5k! you already know what’s up ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

may i have the trope drabble one, with trope #13: “who did this to you?” and the fandom is for obey me! shall we date? with fem!reader pleaseee !!

THANK YOUUUU :D

1.5k Follower Event Trope #13 Obey Me

Trope 13: "who did this to you"

Check out my event here! Event requests are CLOSED

Pairing: Lucifer x Fem!MC

Warnings: mentions of cuts and bruises

Genre: uhhh slight fluff, and comfort???

Post-Type: Drabble

Word Count: 500

Note: I think this trope fits with a few of the obey me characters like Solomon (he's mysterious but imagine him seeing you hurt and he just snaps, his usual cool exterior crumbling away AHHHHH). But ultimately I picked Lucifer. He's probably the most protective and possessive of everyone combined so it was a no brainer to pick him. THANK YOU SO MUCH LOVIE, ILY and I hope you enjoy! <33333

“Who did this to you?” Lucifer grits, staring at the cuts that weren’t there this afternoon when he saw you off after class. He had to stay behind for an urgent student council meeting, leaving you to walk back to the House of Lamentation alone, much to his hesitance.

“It’s just a few scrapes, there’s no reason to get so upset,” you mumble, not really wanting to think of the group of demons who decided to surround you and pick on you due to your lack of security. One of the brothers usually walked home with you, knowing how some of the residents of the Devildom felt about you, a human, living in their world, attending their school, but they happened to all be busy today.

It was already late as Lucifer stood in your room, his brows furrowed and a scowl on his face at your not-so-pleasant appearance. He knew he should have just walked you home and then returned for this meeting after. 

“Which lowly scum decided it was okay to place their filthy hands on you while I wasn’t around?” He seethes, “Even if you don’t tell me, I’ll find out. And once I do, just know that they’ll pay.”

He was beyond furious. As your lover, he felt responsible for you, especially in a world like the Devildom that was dangerous for a human like you, yet he was too selfish to send you back to the human world. He loved you and needed you beside him.

“Luc, it’s really not a big de-”

“Enough! Come with me,” he shouts, grabbing your wrist, surprisingly gently despite his clear anger at whoever harmed you. Though he was powerful and easy to anger, Lucifer would never harm you.

The halls were empty and dimly lit, the other brothers already tucked away in their own rooms for the night, aside from Beelzebub who was likely scouring the kitchen for more food; Lucifer led you through the halls all the way to his room.Closing the door behind him, he placed you on his bed before leaving for a first aid kit, something he kept around, specifically for your sake since he and his brothers never got hurt.

“Let me see,” he says softly, now a little calmer since he knew you were safe and with him. You raise your face to him, and once again a small frown appears across his lips, unsatisfied with what had happened. 

His long fingers trace over the small cuts and bruises on your face, mostly upset at himself for letting you walk home alone–he should have known better.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs, gently cleaning up your injuries with the utmost love and care, wishing he could magically heal you in moments like these. “They’ll pay, I swear they’ll pay.”

There was nothing you could say or do to convince him otherwise. Those lowly demons had chosen to place their hands on you, his woman, so they were bound to face the wrath of your man.

EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED :D

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 9/11/2023

[grace-mint]

A Fate Worse Than Death- Part 3

Finale time!! I'm still working on improving my writing, so thank you to everyone who read! TW: Angst, negative self-talk, mentions of SA and torture. Let me know if I forgot anything.

My life had lost all of its meaning. I didn’t want to care anymore. I couldn’t find it in me to care anymore. Rhys was concerned, I knew. I also knew that I was slowly killing him, the fact that I hardly ate, hardly spoke, and hardly slept. 

My back had healed in time, it had been about a month and a half since that day, and yet the feeling of hands on my body, the male taking advantage of me, and the gaping hole in my chest from the loss of my wings all felt so prominent and recent. 

Now, in place of my once glorious wings, giant, ugly scars lived on my back. They didn’t allow me to fly, they didn’t offer intimate moments with my mate, and they didn’t offer me any comfort. These jagged, hideous things, they were a reflection of my soul. Who I was now. I didn’t try anymore. And just like I didn’t want to care, I didn’t want to try. 

My childhood, which was ripped from my young grasp, wasn’t enough? The Gods had to punish me even more? I felt so completely numb, and I was ashamed of this. I was so ashamed when Mor had to help me bathe when I had gotten back, too weak to even wash myself. Or when Azriel had to help me learn how to walk again, his scarred hand sitting softly on my back was a parallel to what lingered under my shirts. I’m sure I looked ridiculous, like a fawn learning how to use her legs for the first time. 

And then there was Rhysand, my mate. The person who I let down. I knew he assumed that I was stripped of my dignity. I couldn’t face him. I never let him see me anymore, panic raging through my body when I saw him, my father’s words echoing in my head. ‘They’ll all see you let yourself get taken by another man.’ He was right; I didn’t fight hard enough. In the end, I was still just as weak as I was as a child, letting my brothers and father treat me like nothing more than dirt. 

But, by the cauldron I was bored. I lay in bed, mulling over all of these thoughts that constantly kept me company. I searched my mind and soul to find even a modicum of emotion, a single ray of hope, but I came back empty. So, I just lay there, wallowing. 

3 days later, Cassian burst into my room. His face was one of empathy, yet he was determined. This was the General of the Night Court, still a much softer one, but he was in that mind set. He meant business.

“Get up,” he said, “get up out of that bed. You have hardly eaten, I know you don’t sleep well, and we are all worried.”

I rolled over onto my side, my back to him. “You want me to get up, and I want you to get out.” I spit back.

“No.” He plopped himself on the bed, next to my legs. “We don’t have to talk, but I’m not leaving. Cauldron y/n, we don't know what to do anymore.”

I hummed, not deigning to answer. I knew he would stay there, and again, that feeling, that thing in my chest struggled to get out. I smothered it. 

I don’t know how long he sat there, or how long I lay there. I wish he would say something, anything to silence the racing thoughts in my mind. In conversation, I wanted silence, yet in silence, I wanted conversation. I was so pathetic. 

“He has run himself rampant with worry, you know.” I didn’t want to hear about Rhysand right now, but I wouldn’t stop him. “He spent time in the camps, strictly and personally enforcing the wing laws, seeing to it the males treat the females like actual people, not objects.” Anger entered his voice while talking about the barbaric males in those camps. 

“Y/n, he’s so broken without you. My brother has been the strongest male I’ve ever known. He went through hell with Amarantha, his father, and even now, the prejudice he faces from the other courts, it weighs on him. But, when you two were together, no matter what, I have never seen him more joyful. I had never seen him so stress-free, not caring what others had to say.” He brought his hand up to my head, gently stroking my hair. My heart ached, Cassian, the brother I never had, calmed me. Not as much as Rhys could, obviously, but he calmed me just the same. My thoughts slowed down, becoming less and less rapid. “Just see him, once. He needs to see you, and you need to see him. You two have been through so much together, he would never abandon you. You know that right?” 

I didn’t answer, staying silent. At one point of my life, I would have answered this question without a single doubt in my mind, but now I couldn’t. That feeling in my chest tugged again, telling me I was being an idiot. My mate would never leave me, but everyone leaves eventually. 

Cassian sighed, finally standing up and placing a kiss to my head. “Just think about what I said, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”

“I will.” The first words I had spoken since I’d tried to kick him out. I still couldn’t see him, but I heard him pause. I understood why, I had been so adamant about Rhysand not seeing me. I just gave him the worst possible thing. I gave him hope. 

---------------

Rhysand had spent this past month in misery. He hadn’t seen her since a few days after she woke up. He always kept his side of the bond open, hoping she would feel he was there, no matter what. 

“She said she’d think about seeing you.” A voice broke through his thoughts. He was sitting in his office, nursing a glass of bourbon. 

Hope, the damned thing, sparked in his chest. “You think she will actually go through with it?” Rhysand asked Cassian, not wanting to show his disbelief that y/n would actually go through with it.

“She might.” Rhysand’s face fell at his words. He was going to die without his mate another day more. The numbness from the bond made his chest ache constantly. His heart felt as though it was being stabbed over and over. 

“What do I do?” Sorrow dripped from Rhysand’s words. 

“Go to her. You two can’t keep avoiding each other, brother. It is killing you both.”

He knew Cassian was right, as much as he hated to admit it, instead he just nodded my head in dismissal, mulling over his words. 

Rhysand was going to get his mate back. 

---------------

I slept fitfully. Nightmares plagued the darkness, hands, whips, screaming. It was all the same, every night. I woke up, not even phased anymore, yet still shaken. It was normal now, this is what I had been degraded down to. On nights like these, which had been every one, I missed Rhys the most. 

A knock on my door woke me from my pity party and in walked Madja, the sweetest woman to grace this court. 

She was so grandmotherly and gentle. She truly cared about her patients, treating them more like her own children than simply clients.

“How’s the back?” As kind as she was, she was also a straight to the point, no-nonsense type of grandmotherly. 

“Fine.” My usual answer. I wouldn’t burden her with how sometimes it felt like I could feel the steel of the blade ripping into my skin, the crack of the whip against my wings.

She simply nodded, understanding in her eyes. “Lay on your stomach, I want to get a look at it, make sure it is healing well enough.”

I do as she says. I had been wearing Rhys’ clothes, the sole comfort of him I offered myself. They were large enough to not put too much pressure on my healed, but tender back. It also allowed easy access for Madja’s appointments. She unbuttoned the back of the shirt, pulling it away. 

“Child, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You punish yourself, thinking you failed yourself. You are plain wrong.” Her voice was stern but not unkind. “You have healed physically, you are almost out of remission, but the mental has still yet to be touched upon. Why has your mate not been here? Does he not care?” Madja loved her High Lord like he was her own son, but that would not excuse these actions if they were true.

“No. I don’t want to see him.” My words were flat and left room for no argument.

She sighed, “Dear child, I know what happened, all of it. While others may not, you know that you are still here, despite everything. You cannot let those who hurt you win that war that rages in your head. You are our High Lady, or did you forget. You have fought for so much, do not let these demons be the ones who take you down.” 

“Thank you, Madja. Your words mean more than you know.” And I meant it. 

She begins to button up the shirt for me, hardly getting more than a few buttons as the door slammed open. 

And there stood my mate, eyes wild and raging.

Panic flared in my chest, he would hate me. He would see my back and hate me and he wouldn’t want me anymore. 

But as he just stood there, his gaze on my ruined back, I saw his gaze darken with an emotion that wasn’t disgust. He looked murderous. 

“I’m so sorry, I should have knocked.” The words come out of Rhysand’s mouth, dripping with anger and melancholy. 

“Actually, High Lord, if you wouldn’t mind helping her finish up, I fear I am running late for my next appointment.” Madja said, packing her stuff up. She rushed out of the room before either of us could say anything.

Rhys and just stayed there, staring at each other. He finally moved, “Can I help you button these? Is that okay?”

I nodded, relinquishing eye contact and staring out the window instead. He carefully began to button the shirt up, with the gentlest touch I could imagine. He made sure to not touch a single part of my skin, but I could feel his unwavering gaze on my back. 

“Beautiful,” he murmured under his breath, and I felt myself stiffen at his words, not the finger running gently down the scars lingering where my wings should be. 

“You’re delusional,” I hear myself say, my breath quickening at his presence. It wasn’t fear or panic I felt anymore, but longing. Cauldron, I’ve missed him. 

Rhys stood sharply, helping me up and turning me to face him. He put his fingers under my chin firmly pulling it up to meet his gaze.

“Why would you say that about something that’s a part of you. You are the most gorgeous creature I’ve ever had the blessing to set my eyes upon, and these scars do not take away from that. I will make it my life’s mission to let you never forget that.”

I felt a shudder go through my body at his words. Emotions I had kept under lock and key flooded through me. 

“You don’t know what you are talking about, I am ugly. I am disgusting. I am a failure. I don’t deserve someone like you, who still wants me after what I allowed them to do.” And with those words, the dam broke. The emotions escaped the carefully crafted safe, and I cried for the first time since I saw myself in that mirror, facing who I was now. 

“Oh y/n darling,” Rhys placed his forehead to mine, “you are not a failure. You are the most stunning thing I have ever laid eyes on. Nothing can possibly compare to your beauty, not the brightest star on Starfall, nor the most awing beaches of the Summer Court. And you are not a failure. What could ever possess you to believe that.” 

“Rhys, I failed you. I let them touch me, use me. And I didn’t stop it. I ruined what we had.” 

Rhys stilled, his suspicions confirmed. “Your father is going to die an even more painful death than planned.” “He’s still alive?” Fear enters my words. I can hear the shake in my voice.

My mate’s eyes filled with even more anger. “Not for long. He hasn’t been sitting uninjured though, believe me. I would gladly take care of it today, unless you’d like the honor.” He was still in front of me, staring at me. 

I shake my head, “I never want to see him or my brothers again.” He nodded in understanding. 

“It is done then.” He sighed, and took a few steps back, dropping to his knees in front of me. “My mate, my beautiful, strong mate. You are not a failure, you did not fail me. It could never be possible.” 

He gently held my hands, placing a kiss to the back of them. “Those scars you have gained are proof of your strength. Proof that you survived. And I will never, ever allow another male to touch you without your permission.” His words had a dangerous edge to them, one that I knew was speaking nothing but the truth.

“And my love, I am the one who failed you. I wasn’t there to stop them; I let you go on that mission. I am not worthy of your forgiveness.” 

My heart leapt at his words, he thought he was the one who let me down. I tugged my hands from his grasp and placed them on either side of his face, sliding off the bed until I was knee to knee with him. Tears began pouring from my eyes. “Rhysand, you are good. You have been nothing less than perfect to me all these years.” His eyes filled with emotions of his own, and I felt his sorrow on the other end of the bond. The Bond. My mate, I could feel him again. I tugged on it, and felt Rhysand inhale. 

“Y/N, I can feel you again.” His voice cracked, and I felt myself lunging into his arms. Rhysand’s arms, my mate’s arms tugging me impossibly closer. 

“I’m so so sorry, Rhys. I missed you so much; I thought you’d hate me.” 

“How could I ever hate you, darling.” His hand ran down the back of my head in comforting strokes. “I love you so much, I am still healing, and it will take time. But the thing I had felt like I was missing for so long was you.” 

“You could throw me out and take another 6 years, and I would stand at that door waiting for you.” I knew he was telling the truth, a bit exaggerated, but I knew he would be there. I leaned back, pulling my head from his chest. We just gazed at each other for a while, before I slowly leaned up, placing a gentle kiss to his mouth. His arms tightened around me, as if afraid I might be pulled away. 

“I was afraid I would never be able to taste your lips again, feel your embrace, or hear the soft lull of your voice.” My heart broke at his voice, the vulnerability in it. 

“Never again, we will never be separated again.” I placed my head on his shoulder leaning into him. 

“Never again,” He echoed. 

____________________

For the next week, Rhysand was attached to me at the hip, not to say I didn't enjoy it. I missed his presence more than anything. I still couldn’t deal with him sleeping in the bed with me, waking up feeling like I was back in that basement, so he slept in the chair. I felt bad, knowing it couldn’t be comfortable, but he wouldn’t complain. He’d just say he was happy to sleep in the same room as me. 

The day after everything happened between him and I, he walked into the room, hands behind his back. When I’d asked what was wrong, he had simply said he took care of an errand. I knew that meant my father and brothers were no longer living, so I simply just took him into the washroom, helping him wash the blood from his hands. 

Tonight was the first family dinner I would be attending in nearly two months. Rhysand had helped me with my hair, bought me a new beautiful dress to wear, and now stood by my side, holding my hand as we stood on the roof of the townhouse. 

“We don’t have to go, say the word and we can go back down stairs.” His words were soft and gentle. The last time we flew together, I was flying on my own. He would have to carry me now.

I offer a small smile, “I miss my family, Rhys. I have to do this sometime, so why not now.”

With strong arms, he picks me up, hooking one arm under my knees and the other under my shoulders. I wrapped my arms around his neck, with a quick kiss to his cheek. “I’ll be ok.”

He merely nods, stretching out his powerful wings, and I felt a pang go through my chest at the sight. His eyes snap to mine, feeling what I was feeling through the bond. “Darling?”

“Let’s go.” I say, my chin up and determined. I was ready to do this. He shot off the roof with a powerful flap of his wings. I felt the familiar, comforting feeling of my stomach dropping at the movement. My arms tightened around his neck, and I forced myself to look out over our city. It would take time, but I would force myself to be okay with this.

I brought my head up to see my mate staring at me. “You’re the most gorgeous being I’ve ever sat my eyes upon.” I felt my cheeks flush at his words.

“You and your flattery.” I grin at him, looking out over Velaris again. “Our city is gorgeous, Rhys.” 

“That it is,” His words were soft, but his gaze never left my face. “The most gorgeous.”

[vodika-vibes]

Howdy! 🤠

Super excited for this follower event! I loved reading the last event’s masterpieces, and I can’t wait for the ones produced from this event! 💕

For my request, could I get Wrecker with Tanzanite in the fall? It’s the perfect day for a cute fall date and they have so much planned, but fem!reader’s period comes early and very painfully. She tries to hide it and keep the date going, but Wrecker notices and changes their plans to make it more comfortable for her. Thanks!

A Change Of Pace

Summary: You have a date with Wrecker, a date you’ve been looking forward to for weeks. And, when your period comes early, you’re determined to make the date happen in spite of your pain.

Pairing: TBB Wrecker x F!Reader

Word Count: 765

Prompt: Tanzanite - Perceptive Love

Warnings: period talk

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Hihi! Sorry this took so long! This ask kept becoming invisible in my askbox. Apparently it's a thing that happens if you have more than a certain number of asks. I hope you like it~

You grit your teeth as a sharp stab of pain makes you want to double over. 

It figures.

Isn’t this how it always happens? You look forward to something, and your period decides to arrive early.

You blindly take some pain medicine, and exhale slowly to try and ignore your pain.

This date with Wrecker has been planned for weeks. You are not going to let a little pain get in the way of having fun with the man you’ve been crushing on for even longer.

You quickly make sure that you’re presentable, which doesn’t take half as long as you thought it might, and you just step out of your bedroom when there’s a knock at your apartment door.

A quiet curse falls from your lips as there’s another sharp stab of pain, but you ignore it with the ease of someone who’s been dealing with these types of cramps for the large majority of your life, and you hurry over to the door.

A blinding smile crosses your face when you see the man standing there. He looks kind of sheepish, and is rubbing the back of his neck, but he looks genuinely thrilled to see you.

“Wrecker! Welcome back!” You move to the side to let him in your apartment.

“Thanks,” He steps into your apartment, his gaze sliding from one side of the room to the other, “Was worried that we weren’t going to get back in time.”

“Oh?”

“Tech broke something on the ship,” Wrecker replies lightly, it’s a lie, you’re sure. He doesn’t like telling you about the realities of war, having claimed, on more than one occasion, that you are his pretty oasis away from the war.

“Well,” You reply with a light smile, “I hope he fixed it.”

His gaze lands on you, finally, and a broad smile crosses his face. “Course, he always does.”

“Good,” You step around him, “I’m almost ready to go. If you give me about 15 minutes, we can head out to the Fair.”

“Looking forward to it,” Wrecker follows you into the living room and drops on the couch, “And you’re sure they’ll let me in?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, they might not want you to do any of the games, but they’re all rigged anyway, so-” You grin, though it fades as another sharp pain makes you inhale sharply.

You hoped that you were subtle enough that Wrecker wouldn’t notice, but no such luck. 

“Are you alright, angel?”

“I’m fine, honest.”

He stares at you thoughtfully, taking in the way you’re holding yourself, and the way you’re trying to keep yourself from curling in on yourself, and his eyes narrow, “You’re in pain.”

“It’s normal.”

He pauses, “Your lady time,” Wrecker gets to his feet and walks over to you, “How can I help?”

You lift your chin, “We’ve had this date planned for weeks, Wreck. I’m not going to let a little pain stop me-” A particularly strong cramp has a string of curses falling from your lips in Ryl as you nearly bend in two, and Wrecker’s hands settle on your shoulders.

“You know,” His voice is light, conversational, “I’m kind of exhausted, it was a long trip from the outer rim. How about we put off the fair for a day?”

You hesitate, “Well, if you’re exhausted-” You finally say slowly, well aware that he’s lying to you to make you feel better about having to cancel your plans for the day. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”

He flashes a small smile at you and smoothes his hand over your hair, “We’ll both have more fun when you’re not doubled over in pain.” He says, very logically, “Now, how can I help?”

“Can you find my heating pad while I change into something looser?”

“Absolutely.”

Less than fifteen minutes later, you’re curled up on top of Wrecker, your heating pad squished between your bodies as you watch a movie together. He presses a light kiss to the top of your head and presses his hand against the small of your back, “Better?”

You just sigh, “I hope I don’t bleed on you.”

Wrecker laughs, “Ah, angel. Don’t you worry about that. If you do, it’s just a little blood. Not a problem to me.”

You shift and look at him, “You’re the best, Wrecker.”

“Oh, I know.” He grins at you, “But you make me better, angel.”

You flush and press your face against his chest, “If you’re not careful, I’m gonna fall in love with you.”

And he grins, “Well that is the plan, angel.”

[scarlettriot]

SHE LIT A FIRE • PT 7.5

Pairing: Dad!Kirishima x F!Reader

Contains: Fluff, Aged Up Characters & lots of kisses

Warnings: Swearing, make outs, tooth rotting fluff, I don't wanna tag smut because it really isn't but still Minors and Ageless Blogs DNI just to be on the safe side.

Summary: You and Kiri make this the longest five minutes ever.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Father’s Day Special

Tag List: Will Be In The Comments. If you'd like to be added, message me or comment.

A/N: Hey everyone. I know any update to this fic is long over due and this really isn't much at all but I wanted to give you all something! I hope you enjoy this little snack and that it can hold you over until chapter eight is finished up. I also didn't proof read this so I'm sorry if there are errors...

Word Count: 900ish

It’s a little funny how easy it can be for two people to lose all sense of time. How five minutes quickly becomes ten, pretty soon fifteen, and before either of them can process it, twenty whole minutes have slipped by. You weren’t quite sure how you ended up on the sofa, or when exactly Eijiro pulled you into his lap with the hem of your dress bunching up so you could straddle his thighs with ease. At some point you freed his hair from the tie he had it back in, and he let you slip each button on his dress shirt free too until it hung loose on his wide frame.

You both knew you were tempting fate, living on borrowed time, he should have left by now and gotten home but each time one of you pulled away, the other came crashing back like two magnets that couldn’t be pulled apart. Hands roamed like they were searching for something and yet, they didn’t venture too far. It seemed there were some lines you both knew just couldn’t be crossed this evening despite the wetness that formed between your thighs and the way his cock hardened between his. 

“I don’t wanna go…” He confessed against your neck in between needy kisses. His words were thick and laced with desire that you felt deep in your core. 

You tugged enough on his roots to make him lift his head. “Your parents didn’t plan for a sleepover,” you reminded him softly with a tender kiss to his lips and followed it up with a couple more along his stubbled jawline. “And I’m sure they’ll be worried about you if you’re not home soon.” 

Your palms were pressed against his chest and you chuckled as you felt the sigh before it actually left him. “Yeah, you’re right.” But that didn’t stop him from going in for yet another searing kiss that left you whimpering into his mouth. Each one the two of you shared left you longing for each other even more than before, unsure how that was even possible.

“You know if Remi was at their place–”

“I know you’d stay, Eiji.”

It meant the world to you just to hear him say it though. If he didn’t have obligations that he loved and took so very seriously, you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’d stay with you all night long. Doing whatever you wanted. Not pressing you for a single thing you weren’t ready for. You just knew that was the kind of guy he was. 

“Good,” He murmured, “as long as you know.”

His hands trailed down your body, thumbs grazing your breasts ever so slightly on the way down to your plush hips where he squeezed affectionately, pulling you flush against him for another deep kiss before lifting you up again. 

It had to be now, no matter how much the two of you didn’t want this night to end. “Call me when you’re home safe.” You said as you walked hand in hand to the door and this time when you rose to kiss him it was fully intentional and right on his lips that turned up into a lovable dopey grin when you pulled away. 

“Always, sweets. Oh– turn around f’me would ya?” 

You spun in front of him and his fingers found that zipper once again. He pulled it down nice and slow so you heard each of the teeth coming apart. He kissed your spine as the fabric split in two and stopped just above your tailbone, “so fuckin’ hard t’leave you.” He groaned and turned you back around for a final goodnight kiss that left you breathless and pinned against your doorway. “I’ll call ya soon.” 

“You better! Drive safe!” You called as he walked down the hallway and he waited until your door closed and he heard the lock slide home before calling the elevator. 

As he waited for it to arrive he still wore that child-like grin. And in the metal of the elevator doors, he could see blush still pooled in his cheeks and ran down the column of his neck. 

He swore he could still taste you on his tongue and feel your softness against his palms, gods, he was never gonna forget a single thing about you or about this night. In the seconds that passed waiting for the elevator he found himself dreaming up future dates and nights out with you. Events that were coming up like the gala… maybe Remi could stay with his parents that night–

The downward arrow lit up and a bell chimed the elevator's arrival dragging him from various day dreams but when the doors slid open, Eijiro realized the small space wasn’t completely empty. One man stood inside. Black slacks and shiny shoes, dress shirt still on but he was missing his jacket and tie, and his red eyes under messy blonde hair looked appropriately exhausted when they met Eijiro’s. 

Katsuki’s brows knitted together when he saw just who was waiting on the other side of the doors. “What’re you still doin’ here? You guys left hours ago– oh.” Understanding washed over his best friends  face as he noticed a look of happiness on the man’s face that was so rare he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen it before. “Heh. It’s about fuckin' time.” 

[louloulemons-posts]

Oil At The Coffee Shop I

Eddie Munson X Fem!Reader

Summary : Moving to the small town of Hawkins you hoped your journey would be a smooth one, what we hope for doesn’t always happen.

Word Count : 1.7k

Warnings : introduction, not much eddie x reader interaction, very rambley, bestie steve, sweetheart uncle wayne, grumpy eddie.

Fic Masterlist

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Moving away was scary, but you couldn’t stay put any longer. You knew if you didn’t move now then you would never leave, and you needed to go.

“That’s the last of it,” you brother smiled, putting a final box in your car. “You sure you’ll be okay without me?” you asked.

“Oh Im planning on calling you every day,” he smiled, “Seriously though, this is something for you. Aunt Callie wouldn’t have left it to you if she didn’t think so.”

“Only if you’re sure-“

“I am, now,” he turned from you, “Kids come say goodbye to your auntie.” Two children came running out of the house, their mother following behind.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” you said squeezing them tight. “We miss you too,” your 2 year old niece spoke. “Will you come and see us?” your nephew asked.

“Of course Bud, and you can come and see me, and we can call!” Giving them one last squeeze you hugged your sister in law. “It’s gonna be strange not having you around, you take care of yourself okay?” she said.

“I will, and you too. Don’t let him start slacking off or I’ll come back and get him,” you laughed. “I’ll never slack off, now come here and hug me,” you brother smiled, opening his arms.

“I’m gonna miss you Scottie,” wrapping your arms around him. “I’ll miss you too Kid.” Rubbing your wet eyes and pulling away you climbed into your car. “Call us when you get there okay?” you sister in law spoke.

“Will do May, I’ll see you all soon!”

Soon enough you were off, driving away from your hometown to a small place called Hawkins.

You’d spent a lot of Summers there, your Aunt Callie had lived there. You’d spent your time playing in the lake and exploring the forest. It had been so much fun.

She had passed away a few months back, and soon you were sent a letter about her old shop. She’d left it for you.

If you weren’t swimming or running around you were in there with her. Helping her run the place for 3 weeks of the year. It was your escape, something you and Scott always looked forward too.

Hawkins had undergone some hard times, a serious of earthquakes and a whole bunch of nasty rumours. Now it was being built back up, physically and its reputation.

Your aunts shop, well your shop would be the next thing on that list. It would take a while to get there, but you hoped it would be an uneventful journey.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

It was not an uneventful journey, “I swear to god next time I see that mechanic I’m gonna beat his ass,” you ranted, your car had broke down, only half an hour away from where you had to be.

You knew there was something us with it, but the smarmy man had said no it’s all in your head. He was just too lazy to take a look. Groaning you dropped your head onto the wheel of your car.

A knock on your window caught you off guard, “You alright miss?” Looking up it was thankfully someone you recognised. “Chief Hopper!”

“My god, is that really you! I haven’t seen you in so long, how are you?”

“Great, I’m good. How are you?”

“Wonderful, what are you doing here?”

“I’m actually going to be running Callies old store. My car broke down though.”

“I see. Well I can ring a mechanic for you, stay with you until they get here.”

“Would you?”

“Course, Munsons are the best.”

“Old Wayne Munson?” You asked.

“That’s him.” He left to make a radio call from his car, giving them an idea of your location. “They’ll be here soon.”

“Thanks Hop, so how’s life treating you?”

“Life’s good right now, got a wife. Kids.”

“Finally had the guts to tell Joyce how you feel?” He nodded, chuckling. “And the kids?”

“Well her two boys, mine now. Jonathan and Will. Then we’ve got a daughter, El.”

“Callie mentioned, gosh I bet little Wills all grown up now.”

“He’s 19 in a few months.” You let out a sigh, “Man you’ve made me feel old.” Hop laughed at that.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

The catch up continued for a while, laughter and shared memories. Hopper was baffled by the fact Scott had a wife and kids of his own.

Soon enough a tow truck came driving up towards you, loud music playing. “Here we go,” Hopper said, motioning to the vehicle.

A man climbed out of the truck, clad in overalls and a grease stained white tee. Curly hair pulled into a bun on his head, hands cover in rings and tattoos here and there.

“Eddie, thanks for coming,” Hopper spoke.

“No worries, this the car?” he asked.

“Yeah it’s mine,” you motioned to yourself, and he met your eyes.

Dark eyes that looked like melted chocolate held your gaze. A face with light stubble, maybe from 2 days of not shaving. Wrinkles by his mouth, smile lines clearly, but darkness under his eyes.

He was beautiful. “Eddie this is Miss Callies niece,” he introduced you.

“Right, Eddie Munson. What happened?” he asked. “Well it was fine, it’s been making weird noises and then it just stopped. I had it checked over a few weeks ago but the guy wasn’t the best.”

“Well I’ll tow you into town, and then we can sort everything out at the shop.” He walked to grab his gear from the back of the truck.

“Great. Thanks for staying with me Hop,” you smiled at the older man. “Sure thing, Eddie you alright to take her into town.”

“Sure, you can get in. I’ll be with you in a minute,” he spoke, he voice was dull. Almost like he was bored, or tired or both.

Saying goodbye to Hopper you climbed in the van, waiting for Eddie to connect your car to the van.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Here we are,” Eddie spoke as you pulled into a mechanics shop. This was the first time he’d said a word since you left Hopper. You’d tried to make conversations, only met with grunts and hums.

Climbing out you saw a few other guys around the shop. A older man walked over to you, “Hey Son, this the one Hop called in?”

“Yeah Wayne, says there’s been a strange sound. Had it checked a few weeks back but not thorough.”

“We’ll get it sorted for you,” the man, Wayne, smiled softly at you.

He had a kind face, old and worn, but you could tell he was a gentle soul. “Thank you so much, you don’t happen to have a phone I could use do you. It’s just I’m moving here today and all my stuff is in the car.”

“You got someone who can help?” Wayne asked. You nodded, “Right, okay come with me.” Wayne led you into an office space, a phone on the desk. “Take as long as you need, I’ll help Eddie check it over.”

Dialling a number in, you waited for it to ring. “Harrington.”

“Stevie,” you smiled, he spoke your name, “How are you?” he asked.

“I’m okay, I’m really sorry to ask though, can you help me out?”

“Sure, what do you need from me love?”

“Think you could come and get me and my stuff from Munsons Mechanics?”

“I’m on my way, I’ll be there soon.”

“Thanks Steve, you’re the best.”

“Oh tell me something I don’t know.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

A maroon BMW pulled up. You’d met Steve good few summers ago, he’d been playing basketball with your brother. You’d become fast friends, he was a sweetheart, a flirt, but a sweetheart.

He spoke your name, smiling widely. “Steve!” you grinned, he wrapped his arms around you tightly. “Hello you, god I’ve missed you,” he said.

“Thank you for coming.”

“Course.”

“Hey Mister Munson, would I be okay to start moving my stuff?” you asked the older man. “Sure, I’ve got some paperwork for you to fill out too.”

“You go do that and I’ll start moving your stuff,” Steve said, squeezing your shoulder.

“Harrington.”

“Munson, how you doing?”

“I’m alright. What are you doing here?”

“Picking up my friend,” he nodded over to you, who was currently filling in paperwork. Chatting away to Wayne as she did.

“You know her?”

“Mhm, childhood friends, Callies niece.”

“I’ve heard, never seen her.”

“She used to come every summer with her brother, makes sense you didn’t see her, was when you just moved here.”

He hummed, as Steve went and moved boxes between cars. “Right that’s the paperwork sorted, we’ll give you a call when it’s all ready.”

“Great, do I need to pay a deposit, I’ve got my purse.”

“We don’t really do that ‘round here, small town and all.”

“Oh I insist,” you pulled out a 50 and passed it to the man, smiling at him softly. “At least for fuel money for you coming to get me.”

“That’s very kind. Did you want help with the boxes?”

“Oh no it’s okay, I haven’t got much.” Smiling again at the man, you walked over to help Steve move the last few boxes.

“Thank you for the help, it was nice meeting you,” you spoke to Wayne.

“Course, we’ll give you a call. Nodding you climbed in besides Steve, “Thank you too Eddie.” He gave a grunt of your welcome and you were on your way.

“God I can’t believe you’re staying! It’s so exciting,” Steve said happily.

“It is, I’ve got a lock of work to do though. I know those earthquakes did a lot of damage to the shop.”

“I’ll help you fix it up, sure the others can too. Does anyone else know you’re coming into town?”

“A couple people, I mean Hopper was the one who helped me out when my car broke down.”

“Ah right, well Wayne and Eddie will get it fixed up in no time.”

“Don’t think Eddie likes me all that much,” you huffed a laugh. “Don’t worry about him, he’s grumpy all the time.” Nodding you head, you couldn’t help smiling when the shop came into view.

Climbing out of the car Steve spoke, “You go open up and I’ll start grabbing stuff.” Walking towards the door, you used the code to unlock where the key was kept.

Pushing it open a wave of memories took over, some new ones were about to be made.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

A/N: AHHHH! It is here, the first part of Oil At The Coffee Shop. I can’t wait for you guys to find out what’s to come I hope you like it 🤍

Thank you so much for reading 🤍

[lilislegacy]

I want you to know that I have always been 100% team percy and annabheh not having kids especially not biological. I avidly defended it to so many people for so many years. But seeing your posts about them as parents and how their kids would be and their silly family dynamics has totally made me grow a soft spot for the idea. Then yesterday your analysis that you gave in response to that ask did me in. Like when you talked about the kids having a lot of their parents in them but also being their own people 😭

When you said “personally, i think greek demigods having kids is rare. even if they live long enough, they don’t want to bring kids into the world, risking them attracting monsters. which is why i think percy and annabeth wanting children - and wanting them so badly, even at the height of being miserable teenage demigods - is so beautiful and incredible. it’s such a beautiful bright light of hope in all the darkness of the demigod world” really touched something deep inside me. I think I am now 100% team percabeth having babies. I am not sure how you did that to me after so many years of being so anti-kid for them but somehow you did.

How dare you make me feel emotions like this 😤

omg lol this made me smile and laugh

first off, i want to say that my goal is never to change people’s opinions. i personally love the idea of percy and annabeth having kids, and it makes me happy to share my headcanons, but it’s never done with the intention of changing people’s minds. all headcanons are valid.

that said, i’m very happy to hear you’ve joined the club. to me, percy and annabeth having kids just make sense. it just feels right. it proves that they won. they didn’t let the gods or the monsters tear them down. they fought hard for their future and didn’t let anyone scare them into not doing what they want. if they want kids, they’ll have kids goddammit! and it presents a future for them filled with so much love and joy and excitement. it just makes me happy for them. they deserve it. and like i said in my analysis/response yesterday, i don’t think its common for greek demigods to have kids. i recognize that it’s dangerous and scary. but i think true happiness for percy and annabeth involves having a family together. especially since that’s canonically what they want. their kids would be amazing, and annabeth and percy would be an amazing mom and dad. they are the ultimate parenting team.

so welcome aboard. it’s very happy here 🥰

[shiftymimilily]

what do you think happens to realities after we leave? say i want to leave my current reality because i’m sick okay so i shift, is this “version” of me not real anymore or am i just not conscious of their pain? i’m having a philosophical crisis because i love myself and i don’t deserve to suffer at all yk so i kinda want to stay in “bad” situations to help myself out and i don’t know if this line of thinking even makes sense but i would appreciate your perspective on it

I know, it's not really directly about permashifting, but I think my experiences here are relevant to it. So I hope you sit down and listen for a bit.

A thought about permashifting from both sides of the coin.

Well, firstly, thank you. Somehow, you got me to unlock some of my past memories from my permashift going here. I intentionally locked them behind certain checkpoints I believe so I can access and relearn them again in due time, and I think this was one of them. Funny on how it goes full-circle here. So, instead of an answer, I give you, hopefully, a peace of mind.

I went through a similar crisis back then: What would happen to myself in the reality I was in right now old if I had left permanently? I’ve seen and experienced both sides in a sense. I was in your place, as my "other-self" as I will call them, and I am perhaps where someone wants to be when they go to a new place. In the "new place". Wouldn't it be so selfish to leave people behind? To leave A PART of myself behind?

Then I realized, this was me. Both are me. We’re not separated, ever. This is what WE want. In a sense, I can live in peace with their suffering because they suffer in my name and I gave them meaning to suffer because I was what gave them, or that self, the will to go through suffering. They’ll forever be my other-self, and that’s what they wished to willingly to be. What I wished to be. They'll forever have existed somewhere, as part of you. That is unchangeable.

You're such a beautiful soul to be so considerate. I assure you however that they'll be okay because I know I'm okay. Have faith. You're okay. Truly. Just breathe. You don't have to stay somewhere you don't have to, and we don't have to go anywhere if we don't want to. Whether we stay or go or return, life goes on, and that's not something to be scared of, but to embrace. It’s not wrong to want to be in another space. Your guilt and shame, is natural. However, on the grand scale of things? It's okay. My current existence here as a self is help enough to help the other-self I was.

I won't be able to answer what absolutely happens when we go to another relait. I don't think beings like myself are supposed to anyway. Maybe the world ceases to exist, maybe it doesn't and it's its own thing. I have my theories of course, but acknowledge I don't know how this sector of the multiverse works, nor do I need to. You say it's okay for yourself now and it will be, and that's more than enough for it to not be selfish. If you're willing to let yourself go somewhere, then let go. Approval had been given a long time ago when you decided to go another place.

But if it does, I can safely say they'll move on without you. They'll do whatever they'll do. Go through grief. The suffering. You also miss out on the healing. The smiles. The moments in the future of whatever timeline that is. It's bittersweet. You won’t know what happens or what's happening to them, but you have to trust yourself as you right. This is the wish: that's what you can respect. That this other you might not make it the way you wish them to, but they will have lived and that’s more than what the universe can ever ask for with a shifter. As a shifter. To exist. To manifest. To shift. To be.

[ageofzero]

Yuna is the antagonist of a potential Final Fantasy X-3, thank you for coming to my TED Talk

edit: okay I'll put it under a read more since it'll be a long post (but not as long as my entire conversation was), but what's promised is due.

Now that I have to make the post for real I had to do some wiki reading on what the actual Things going on in the novella were, and… well, a lot of my theorycrafting was based on incomplete and kinda inaccurate information. BUT I can’t read Japanese, the book was never released here, and I am going to go with rule of cool for a little bit of this even as I keep the stuff that sounds kinda dumb on the surface. I’ll be the first to say that Tidus exploding from a bomb he thinks is a blitzball is dumb (true), and Chuami thinking she’s Auron’s daughter is a dumb plot beat (petty), but I’m weaving this bridge and I’m not going to rewrite those. I am going to change some contexts and make them exist in a narrative that I hope is compelling. That’s my disclaimer, now I’m gonna get into it.

SO.

The scenario from the novella and audio drama is thus: Tidus died again in an accident, and Yuna brings him back. But he’s not back in the same way that the Fayth gave this dream a real living body at the end of X-2. The official term for it is “beckoned”, but I probably won’t use that to describe him based on my previous understanding. No matter if he’s beckoned or not, or whatever terminology you want to use, the thing is that Yuna summoned him back. She’s holding him to life, and he can never know. It’s been a year since the moment Tidus died, and Yuna has seemingly regressed into patterns that put her into what was once Yevon’s circle. Tidus is looking injured/weakened (“Chuami: It wasn’t just [Tidus’s] words that felt hollow. When I shook his hand, his grip felt weak and lifeless... I think he’s injured. Or maybe he’s sick or something.”), and people are looking to Yuna for help or information regarding the strange not-quite Unsent (the beckoned) that are appearing in places in Spira. Help she is not capable of giving. Wakka and Lulu are protecting her as she prays in Besaid Temple. The world is seemingly acting out, with a second shoopuf appearing in the Moonflow and its energies overflowing and drawing more illusions into reality. (“Yuna: The Moonflow energy is responding to the will of the living. It’s as if… we’re in the Farplane.”) And it’s more vivid than what the Farplane is capable of, even breaking the rules of “beckoning”. This is something new, something worse. Something worse enough to bring back Sin (which I thought was just me extrapolating a potential, but they actually mention it in the audio drama that it happens). Yuna promises the people that she will defeat Sin, but Wakka tries to keep her from being made to promise such a thing at first, which is an interesting choice (“Wakka: Yuna, let’s go back to Besaid. They’ll push this all on you… Sin is for summoners, in their minds.”).

Where does the world go in this present circumstances? Why IS Yuna seemingly content to do what chafed her in the Eternal Calm short movie and stay praying in Besaid and helping the elders who are lost now that Yevon as they knew it is in shambles? Why are Lulu and Wakka enabling and protecting her in that? Why is Tidus looking injured and weak and why is Yuna keeping him at arm’s length? Why does she tell him that she’s fallen in love with someone else?

I know the typical story beat interpretation is “Yuna told him that and pushed him away so he wouldn’t be in danger for what she needs to do, bc defeating Sin caused his death last time”. But hear me out. Yuna knows Tidus isn’t alive. She knows that revealing that information to him will cause him to disappear again. She’s actively summoning him back to life and he has no idea (but he must suspect something is wrong, even before Yuna formally pulls away from him, he’s weakening and he probably doesn’t feel right in his own skin). I posit that her maintaining Tidus’s life is what she’s really doing praying in the Besaid Temple. She doesn’t want to get involved with the Moonflow situation, the shoopuf or the overflowing energy of the Moonflow itself. She doesn’t even really act when seeing all the ghosts in the crowd, and actively stops Kurgum from acting (plausible deniability: she and everyone else decide that sending them in that moment would be the wrong call and riots would break out, but that density of ghosts means that’s a significant amount of pyreflies that could become fiends at any moment).

I posit that Yuna’s powers are working, that people close to her think her powers aren’t working (Lulu and Wakka), and she’s hiding it from everyone else. That her powers aren’t working because she’s currently using them to maintain Tidus’s existence. And this maintaining is breaking the Farplane in half, because she’s powerful but has no idea what she’s doing. (Why would she really know what she’s doing or the consequences? Who has any information of what she’s doing and what will happen if she does it?) I posit that Yuna’s love for Tidus is so strong that it corrupts her sense of right and wrong. X-2 is Yuna largely going on a personal quest, and incidentally helping people but separating herself from the title of High Summoner and doing something she wants to do. Rikku encourages her to do something for herself for a change right before she agrees and runs off to become a sphere hunter. She still saves the world, this time from an ancient danger Old Yevon buried and an Unsent is threatening to use (for love, notably), but she did it in the course of looking for Tidus. Who the Fayth return to life, who she hugs and is so so relieved to have in her arms again.

She’s not going to let him go, she couldn’t let him die again so much that she called him back to life.

(side note: I never truly knew how this happened so I had to consult the wiki page on the novella, and I suspect what original information I was working with was misrepresented and misinterpreted. I openly admit that the wiki page doesn’t really help me fully understand what happened, aside from explaining how Tidus ended up in proximity to a bomb. My understanding from someone’s explanation was that an Unsent summoner on the island Yuna and Tidus got washed up on after a storm told her she could call back the dead if she wanted, as a summoner. They’re all made of pyreflies, Aeons and Fiends and People and Unsent alike, and summoners are in the business of manipulating pyreflies. Either calling them from the Fayth to form an Aeon, or Sending them to the Farplane so they do not become Fiends. A summoner with enough power could summon someone back from the dead, could they not? And this Unsent summoner knew how it worked, and told Yuna how to do it. But I don’t know how real that scene could be, or how accurate it is to what’s written in the book. It’s my rule of cool moment, though, and I worked with that as my understanding when I made this theory. We have to make our peace with that, if you’ll allow me this extrapolation of Spira’s rules and a summoner’s powers.)

(The meme is Tidus kicking a blitzball and it turned out it was a bomb and his head gets blown off, but wiki says they ended up on a vision of a Besaid from 1000 years ago, and the bomb was something neither Tidus or Yuna had seen before and to them it looked like a blitzball. So, Tidus approached what he thought was a blitzball, wondering who’s ball it was, and it exploded as he reached it. I still think that’s really dumb but I’m not editing it out bc Tidus’s death creates very interesting consequences.)

So, if Yuna is summoning Tidus back to life, and she desperately doesn’t want him to find this out so she avoids him and pushes him away through any means necessary, but he’s still weakening and fading enough to be noticeable by people… perhaps also himself… Yuna returning to Yevon in some capacity could just as likely be her looking for a means to keep feeding power to this summoning she’s doing so she doesn’t lose him. And what kind of consequences does it have to do this? He’s being summoned, but he’s not actually an Aeon. He’s not an Unsent, he’s not just being beckoned. He wasn’t even real, he was a dream in a summon held together by the raw power of Yu Yevon turning into Sin. The Moonflow overflowing and seeing a long-dead shoopuf is the least of the consequences. The Farplane is delicate, it requires careful maintenance, and here Yuna is shoving her foot in the door and holding it open for a solid year! And no one knows she’s doing this! Spira’s past is full of history, some of that long-buried secrets that no one was supposed to find again. Sin wasn’t supposed to be able to come back, but the ghosts aren’t staying ghosts anymore (“Lulu: I mean Sin came back, right? What’s to stop anything else from coming back?”).

Even people who only know her by reputation seem to think she’s acting strangely (“Kurgum: I thought Lady Yuna was… a righteous person.”), because something is wrong and no one can put their finger on what. Who would have the pieces to put any of this together, and who would even suspect Yuna in the first place? She’s actively not getting involved in politics, she’s locked herself in Besaid, she seems reluctant to answer someone she worked with and should be amicable with now (Baralai).

I think the story should follow down this path, I think it should find Yuna at the end of it, once savior and now destroyer. She’s willing to let the world rip apart in order to keep Tidus, and I think that’s a compelling premise for X-3. The past surging forward like ghosts, vengeful and lost and wanted and terrifying. Who sides with Yuna (Wakka, Lulu) and covers up the problem? Who bands together to face down the High Summoner (Tidus, Rikku)? Who doesn’t know where to place their allegiance, or who changes sides when they realize the extent of what Yuna’s hiding? What does she do when she’s faced with her friends, and the person she loves so much, telling her to stop?

There’s a line in Eternal Calm where Yaibal (named in X-2 but not in the movie itself), after asking about whether or not she’d be joining one of the factions, if she’d be making a faction of her own. And I think in this potential X-3, she’s making her own faction through the actions of becoming antagonist. She’s made Wakka cover for her, she acts in a way that make Lulu and Wakka both protect her regardless of whether or not they know what she’s doing. I think it would be so fascinating to make this a conscious decision on her part. Things have broken so utterly, and she’s desperate to hold them together, and becomes the antagonist in the process.

Squeenix would never do it, they’d never be so bold as to make Yuna the antagonist and follow through on this trajectory of her lying to people to hide that she’s the one breaking the world in half (up to returning the ghost of Sin itself to terrorize Spira). Sin isn’t the final boss in this one, it’d have to be Yuna, we have to stop her and fix what went wrong. It’s not ever gonna happen, but I still think Yuna should be the antagonist of X-3.

[tgmsunmontue]

Caring, Keeping and Collecting Transformers - A Guide 5/?

Maverick is unknowingly surrounded by Transformers. He knows something is up though. Just not quite what it is exactly.

Bradley and Jake, having never met, are embarking on their own journeys and will have to learn to deal with the fact that they've both been adopted by Transformers.

Despite having years more experience, Maverick is no help at all.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

                “Admiral.”

                “How should I address you?” Tom asks, because he’s spoken to Mav’s P51 plenty, been jealous of it even, however it’s never spoken back. That one time he kicked the wheel it a fit of pique is currently haunting him.

                “You can call me Sally,” she states, and Tom raises an eyebrow. “I like the song.”

                He nods, and he wonders if all the ammunition he can see is live. He’s guessing so, and he knows it isn’t helping his blood pressure right now. He doesn’t want to be caught in a firefight if things do go south.

                “Please relax Admiral. I do not hold your past actions against you. Maverick is a difficult man to manage.” Tom blinks, wonders how the hell he is somehow commiserating with a Transformer over dealing with Maverick’s antics. “As annoying as he might be, I would never let any harm come to him. Not while I was letting him pretend he is in charge.”

                Tom’s lips twitch in amusement at that, and then he decides to just outright grin, a little disbelieving laugh escaping him as he considers the fact that all this time Maverick thinks he’s been flying the P51 it’s been because a Transformer has been gracious enough to let him pretend make believe. He really wants to make sure he’s around to see Mav have that realization. He needs to gather information, pretty sure the conflict resolution and managing difficult people workshops can be applied to Transformers and humans alike. God he hopes so.

                “Starscream was it? I’d like to talk to you.”

                “Sir! I can’t –” the Transformer who’d driven him here at breakneck speed tries to interject, and Tom can tell he’s military of some sort by the way he instantly falls quiet at the sharp look Tom gives him.

                “I appreciate your concern, however I believe I am in charge here and I will speak to whom I think necessary. I doubt Starscream will do anything when all he seems to want is help with having Jetfire fixed. And that help is hopefully on the way.”

                “Walk with me,” Tom instructs Starscream, and his tone doesn’t invite argument, but he can tell that the other Transformer is not used to accepting or following orders, no matter how much he wants to or not.

…            …            …

                “Do you think they’ll be okay?” Bradley asks and Jake looks at where Starscream and Admiral Kazansky have walked off down the runway. The other Transformers have watched them go with suspicious eyes, the Jeep, Hound, hasn’t stopped grumbling under his breath, what looks like a weird smoking grenade launcher rolling around his lips the same way Jake worries a toothpick when he’s nervous or mentally working through something.

                “He’s mouthy and sarcastic, seems to think he knows… well, everything. But he does care about Jetfire. I think he would have killed me if he’d thought I was responsible for their condition.”

                “So… how long have you known about Transformers then?”

                “Only a few days,” Jake admits. “I’m on leave for four weeks and I get a feeling I’m going to be spending it here.”

                “Yeah, maybe. Can you show me Jetfire?”

                “Sure.”

                He leads Bradley to the horse truck and pulls himself up, feels him closely follow and then they’re standing there looking at the broken pieces of Jetfire. It’s obvious from looking at them all that Jetfire is a larger Transformer, like Sally or Starscream.

                “Holy shit.”

                “Yeah. You think Maverick knows about Transformers?” Jake asks, and he still can’t believe that the man he’s been idolizing for years, along with Admiral Kazansky, are now people that will know he exists, or will do shortly once Maverick arrives. He’s not entirely sure this is a good thing.

                “If he does, he’s managed to keep it a secret. Mav isn’t the most, uh, subtle of people.”

                Jake snorts, because a man like Maverick does not get the reputation he has by being subtle or a shrinking violet. Or by following the rules. He just skirts beside them and holds his hand over the line.

                “Pretty cool guy to have as your godfather. Have someone giving you tips about flying.”

                Bradley snorts then and Jake turns to look at him, takes in the twist of lips and sad-angry-annoyed look. He can’t quite place it, but they’ve just met.

                “Yeah, you’d think. My dad was a RIO. He died when I was three.”

                “Oh shit. Sorry man.”

                Bradley shrugs, kneels down to look at some part of Jetfire and he takes it as the very obvious change of subject Bradley wants it to be.

…            …            …

                Tom isn’t sure he should be having this conversation when none of his superiors know about it, however he also didn’t get to where he is without improvising and using his initiative.

                “Are you here to attack us? Attack Earth?”

                “No. I’m not even here to attack the Autobots, even if they deserve it.”

                Tom decides to leave that statement alone for now.

                “And what do you want right now?”

                “My friend rebuilt and recharged.”

                “And do we have that capability?” Tom asks, because while he might know Transformers exist he has no in depth knowledge about their general inner workings. The idea that Mav might, and doesn’t even know that he’s been working on them for years, well, a lot of things slot into place. Vehicles just appearing. The Bronco being one of them. Huh.

                “There are rumors,” Starscream mutters and Tom raises an eyebrow.

                “Rumors? You travelled here without first confirming it is actually possible?”

                “Wouldn’t you? If it were your only hope?”

                Oh.

                Tom understands that feeling of desperation well enough.

                “Okay. I will do everything in my power to assist you.”

                “On what condition?” Starscream replies, staring at what Tom assumes is the horizon, although he can probably see further than a human. He’s smart, he’ll give him that.

                “You remain neutral. You do not attack anyone on Earth. Or our allies.”

                Starscream makes a noise Tom can only classify as a scoff, although it sounds mechanical and grating, like he’s annoyed.

                “And if it’s in self-defense?

                “As long as you can prove it was self-defense, you’ll have my support. For now, you’re under my protection.”

                Starscream makes the same sound again, and Tom knows it probably seems ridiculous to a Transformer of Starscream’s size that Tom can offer any protection, but he shrugs, because either Starscream will accept it or he won’t.

                “For until I leave Earth I swear a vow of neutrality. I will only raise arms against those that do myself harm. Or Jetfire harm.”

                Tom doesn’t know how deep the bonds between Transformers go, but he nods.

                “Accepted.”

            ��   God he hopes he doesn’t lose his job over this.

…            …            …

                He can see the dust cloud and hear the roar of engine before he can see Maverick, although he’s there soon enough. Bradley scrambles down from the horse truck and walks toward him, not quite sure how to approach him after nearly eight years of radio silence. Jake is following closely behind him, Ice and Starscream about two-thirds back up the run-way and walking toward them. He desperately wants to know what they’ve talked about. Instead he’s got Mav staring at him like he can’t believe he’s there. Like somehow Bradley is somehow the oddest thing to look at when there are dozens of Transformers standing around.

                “Bradley?”

                “Hey Mav…”

                “What? What are you doing here?”

                “Maverick!” Ice calls out, and he’s striding back toward them, legs fully stretching out like he’s resisting the urge to run.

                “Ice… Bradley’s here.”

                The look Ice gives Mav is fond, less fond when he then looks to Bradley.

                “Yes. He is.”

                “I thought –”

                “I know what you thought. Captain Mitchell I need you to pay attention.”

                Bradley blinks. He’s never heard Ice call Mav anything other than Maverick. Or Pete. Or Mav… The fact that he’s just used his title means that he’s legit pulling rank and it must not happen very often because Mav is shifting and straightening up, looking around then, eyes widening as he registers the actual fucking Transformers assembled around them.

                “Holy shit… what is going on?”

                “You don’t recognize them?” Ice asks, his gaze serious, and Bradley realizes that Ice is very firmly in work mode right now. It’s a little bit terrifying to see.

                “Not like this I don’t… But I always wondered… fucking hell. I knew something was up!”

                Bradley can’t help it, is staring at the motorbike Mav arrived on expectantly, waiting for it to change; knows Jake and Ice are sort of expecting it as well.

                “Uh… why… wait. What the… you can stop staring at the bike, it’s just a regular old normal machine,” Mav says, waving his hand dismissively, staring in open-mouthed wonder as he approaches the line of watching Transformers. “Oh my god. You’re my Kawasaki…”

                “Ninja,” Ninja provides, and then Bradley can’t believe it but Mav is hugging it.

                “Thank you. For saving me that time.”

                “What time?” Ice interjects.

                “Oh, years ago now. I had a motorbike accident and went over the side of the cliff.”

                “Hmpf. Stupid way of trying to kill yourself,” Ninja says and Bradley doesn’t miss the clenching muscles in Ice’s jaw. He wonders just how many years ago they’re talking, wonders what he’s missed, stomach clenching at the idea that maybe this is something recent. Ice looks similarly concerned, although Bradley doesn’t think they’re going to get any answers right now. Mav has moved to stand in front of Sally, the look on his face one of awe.

                “You’re beautiful…”

                “Thank you Maverick. You do tell me that fairly regularly.”

                “Oh my god, this is amazing. Ice! Isn’t this amazing?”

                “It’s certainly something alright…” Ice says, and Bradley shares a look with Jake, because Ice seems less than pleased.

                “Did you know about them?”

                “I have a sufficiently high security clearance. I had never met any before today though.”

                “We are meant to keep our existence… secret,” Sally states, and her whole demeanor is radiating disapproval, however it seems to be aimed at the other Transformers. Neither Bronco or Starscream seem to care, and Hound just huffs, the sound accompanied by a cloud of smoke and sparks.

                “It has been a secret. If there was any chance Maverick could have had a conversation with a plane there is no way I wasn’t hearing about it.”

                The smile Maverick gives Ice is wide and happy and Bradley’s stomach twists a little, feels like an outsider to their relationship now.

                “Are we sharing secrets?” Bronco asks, and his tone of voice is low, like he’s not grumpy and Bradley wonders what other secrets there could be that are on par with the fact he’s been driving around a transforming robot for several years. God. Did he ever actually learn to drive?

                “What secrets…” Bradley mutters, looking between the Transformers and then also Mav and Ice, who have both gone still. Bronco is staring at them and Bradley isn’t used to reading the expression on his face yet, but he’s put money on him being pissed.

                “He pulled your application at your mother’s request.”

SIX

[chaosduckies]

Restoration (Chapter 11)

The time has come! This took me about five drafts for me to actually think it was decent so I hope you guys enjoy it! There’s just a whole lot of little scenes I liked to make. It’s a roller coaster of emotions, you’re going to hate me but it gets better! (Please don’t hate me I will not hesitate to cry TwT) Otherwise, enjoy!

Word Count: 12.7k

CW: Death, Vague mentions of suicide, severe trauma, vague gore warning, violence, I think that’s it!

11- Ryker 

It was quiet without Angela and Lucky. Mostly because Dylan and Lucky are almost always the cause of all the loud noises, but sometimes Angela and Isabelle just liked to play around. Now, it was lonely. Of course Nathan always let Angela talk with us on his phone for hours since we can always see Lucky at school, but Angela was being picked up by Nathan for almost a full week. Nathan says she’s been doing fine. She plays some games with his mom and he likes playin hide and seek with her when she’s bored. As for Lucky, Nathan says he’s just been doing his own thing. What he usually does. He also says that he’s on the phone with Dylan all the time too. Not surprising. 

No worries though. They’ll be back before Christmas. There was no way I was letting them miss it. Plus, the riots and stuff have been going down lately. They can finally come home, and I really, really missed them. No matter how many times I’ve had to clean up after them or they’ve given me half a heart attack every time they’re on the edge of somewhere high in the house. They were my siblings, I couldn’t just not care. 

Jasmine helped me take down all of the elevators around the house. The only bad part about that is that we can’t exactly put them back once they’re off, so it’s going to be like this until I can find the time to put some in later. They’ve never had a problem being carried around everywhere anyways. 

I sighed, laying down on my bed and staring at the ceiling. There wasn’t anything to do really. Dylan stayed in his room talking to Lucky while also playing whatever game he had, Jasmine was in the living room playing with Isabelle since no one else could at the moment. Usually Angela kept her busy. 

“Ry!” I heard Jasmine’s voice yell through my door. I groaned. I didn’t feel like getting up. I just laid down not too long ago, can I not get a break? 

“What!” I screamed back. 

“Isabelle says she’s hungry!” 

I placed a hand on my forehead, forcing my body under the covers. I was too tired to do anything, but I’m pretty sure we have some leftovers from last night she could eat. Jasmine and Dylan can make themselves something. I just wanted to get some sleep at this point. 

“There’s leftovers in the fridge!” 

I heard the fridge door open and close, then the microwave starting all the way from my room. I finally relaxed, the pillow cold under my head and my lights off with the blinds closed, blocking out any evening sun that threatened to creep inside my room. Perfect time to go to sleep. the best part about it was that I didn’t have school in the morning either. I was so physically and mentally exhausted I could just pass out. And I did. 

—————— 

When I woke up, it was to the smell of burnt pancake batter, making me scrunch up my nose and hurry to the kitchen, where Jasmine was currently throwing out her entire plate of pancakes that were beyond burnt. I laughed, watching her hurry to turn off the stove that was surprisingly not on fire. Jasmine just glared at me, leaning agianst the counter in defeat. I walked up next to her, smirking the entire time, “You just lost to pancake batter.” 

She playfully punched me in the shoulder, laughing along with me. I looked back at the box she had used, seeing that there was still enough for the four of us. I sighed, grabbing another bowl and placing the old one into the sink. Might as well make the rest if they really wanted pancakes. 

“Why’d you try cooking? You hate being anywhere near a stove.” I asked, mixing together the powder with milk. 

“You were asleep.” Her voice slightly a higher pitch. I looked back at her for a second, watching as she tapped her hand on the counter. 

“What else?” I grabbed a new pan that didn’t have burnt remains of pancakes and turned on the stove. Dylan knew how to cook a little bit. Jasmine would have woken him up to help her. So why didn’t she? 

“Nothing. Isabelle and I woke up about an hour ago and she just told me she was hungry.” Jasmine shrugged her shoulders. I poured some of the newly made batter into a pan and let it sit there for a couple seconds. She wasn’t going to tell me. At least not anytime soon. Better to just accept her answers now before she gets mad. 

I stayed silent until Dylan walked into the room, immediately sitting down on top of the counter and yawning. He scrunched up his nose, the faint smell of smoke in the air, “What did Jasmine burn this time?” He joked, earning a punch to the shoulder that actually looked like it hurt. 

Everyone grabbed their plates, and we all watched a cartoon in the living room. It just felt quiet without Dylan and Lucky constantly messing around with each other or Isabelle and Angela playing with their stuffed animals. I knew we all missed them. Just two more days. Two more days and they’ll be back with us. Everything was going to go back to normal. I’d really have to thank Nathan and his mom for helping us out so much. I smiled at the thought. 

———Nathan———

Despite there being two more people in the house, is was actually relatively quiet. Which was surprising given that Ryker’s house was usually filled with a huge commotion. Maybe it was because they were away from each other? I really did feel bad. I mean, they all seemed really close to one another. Plus after Ryker told me what happened to their parents… It must be hard. I couldn’t think about leaving my mom for any reason, so it must be so much worse when it’s your own siblings. 

They were going back this Sunday. Things have gone down and it’s nearly Christmas so I didn’t want them to miss that. Lucky was taking a nap on the couch while Angela was busy with a coloring book my mom had bought her the other day. She was currently coloring a picture of a parrot, and for a four year old she was surprisingly good at coloring. My mom was cooking dinner. I offered to do it instead but she just argued that she hasn’t cooked for me in a while. I just left it at that. 

So now I was laying down on the couch. School was out for winter break finally. Which meant only five more months until I would be left alone again. Just my mom and I. I didn’t plan on going to college, maybe just a part time job. After what happened so many years ago I’ve been afraid to live on my own. But let’s not think about that right now. 

What I was worried about was what if Ryker didn’t like the present I would be giving him. The concert tickets of course. They didn’t really cost much. Like a seventy dollars for two tickets? Not bad. I had bought everyone else’s gifts except for Dylan’s. I knew he liked sports and all that, but I couldn’t get him something like that. I had zero idea and I really needed to ask Lucky what to get him, because I’m pretty sure Lucky had bought something for him before he came here. I’d just have to ask. Not now though. 

I know Ryker loves reading, drawing, cooking. What else? Lucky mentioned something about sweets? Like cookies and all that? How would I even do that? I can’t just bake something fifty times my size. I had thought about buying something like a cake but how would I even get it to him? I mean… I could ask for help. Maybe from Jasmine? Nope. Get that thought out of my mind. She hates my guts. Dylan then? That would mean I’d have to ask him for a favor, and I didn’t really want to. But how else would I give Ryker a good gift? 

I guess that’s what I would do. But instead of buying one I’d ask Dylan to make it using my recipe. Would he though? I mean he seems like a nice guy. I guess the real question would be if I could be alone with him for about two hours. Or if could handle it at least. I’ve really only been around Ryker. 

——————

After we ate dinner, it was around 7 but Angela already looked exhausted. My mom set her to sleep in the guest room before leaving for work. I didn’t get why she always overworked herself. I knew she was tired too, but yet she stays awake almost all day to take care of us, and then leaves for work at night. When it was just me here as soon as she came back she’d give me a hug, take a shower, and then head to bed until it was later in the evening. I guess having more people in the house is making her think she has to stay up. I can take care of everyone. I didn’t mind playing around with Angela, I didn’t mind joking Lucky in a game, or going outside with everyone. I also didn’t mind cooking for more than just two people. So I didn’t exactly know why she stayed awake when she was so tired. 

“I can’t wait to head back home alreadyyyy.” Lucky groaned, the tv playing quietly in the background. He was on his phone while l sat reading a book as usual.  

“Sorry.” I mumbled, closing my book and turning my head to face the tv that was currently playing a movie about some cops trying to catch a serial killer or something like that. I wasn’t paying attention. 

Lucky stayed quiet for a while before facing me, “Sorry for what?” 

“That you have to stay here.” I answered. 

“It’s not even your fault. Plus, it’s not even bad here. I just miss being with my family, y’know?” Lucky explained, now facing the ceiling with his arms under his head. I nodded my head. I didn’t exactly know how he felt about this whole situation. I’m sure he realizes why he even has to be here. Because some people just don’t like humans. 

I opened my book again, trying to get at least halfway done with it before I fall asleep. At least that was my goal. Honestly I was extremely tired for no reason. I go to bed relatively early, and since I don’t have school anymore I’ve been waking up at around nine in the morning everyday. I didn’t know why I felt so exhausted. I wasn’t too worried though. I feel fine in the morning so it’s fine. 

“Can I ask you a question, Nathan?” Lucky asked, still staring at the ceiling. 

“Sure?” It came out more as a question. 

“Do you like Ryker?” 

My eyes widened. What kind of a question was that? “Yeah. He’s a nice friend. Why wouldn’t I?” Lucky started laughing, sitting up and now looking right at me, “I meant like, like him. Y’know, like a couple?” 

I felt my cheeks immediately heat up at the realization. Lucky started laughing so hard he was choking while I buried my face in my hands. This was embarrassing. I tried getting rid of the red blush that just seemed to be painted on me at this point. I groaned as Lucky caught his breath, still waiting on an answer, though I’m sure he’s already assume one. 

I’ve never really thought about it. I mean I do like him as a friend. He’s done nothing but help me ever since I’ve met him. I really do like being with him too. But do I really like him? I could just be mistaking it for liking him as a friend. That was probably it really. I don’t think I do. Nope. Plus, what makes anyone think that Ryker would like me back? It just didn’t make any sense. was he even into boys? Was I even into anyone? I’ve always thought that no one would want to be around me pretty much my whole life. I don’t know anymore at this point. Why were we even on the topic? 

“N-no. We’re just friends.” The blush on my face was still painted across my cheeks. Lucky just rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say.” 

I grabbed my book that I had lightly thrown on the cushion next to me and hid my bright red face in it. Just forget about it. Why would he ask that question anyways? It so random to ask. I was so unprepared too. There was no way I could just forget about this. 

———Ryker———

The cold air outside felt great. A thin layer of snow now covered the entire city from last nights little shower, and it just felt great to be outside. Today was going to be a good day. I could feel it. Today also happened to be the day that Lucky and Angela would be coming home with us, which we were all excited about. 

Jasmine had work today, and of course she was angry. It actually took me a while to clam her down so she wouldn’t be late for work. So now it was just Dylan and Isabelle with me as we headed to the bus stop to go and get them. I guess this counts as a family reunion? I mean, we haven’t really seen each other for nearly a week. It may not seem that long, but when all you have are your siblings, it’s not easy to let go of them. Let alone be apart from them for this amount of time. 

Nathan had already texted me that they were already waiting. Apparently his mom wanted to say goodbye to Angela because she grew attached to her. I wasn’t very surprised. They must be freezing though. I know this kind of weather is kind of amplified for humans too. My mind went back to that night that seemed like forever ago. When Nathan had just snuggled up as close as he wanted to me for warmth. My heart fell, and a small smile appeared on my face as we walked along the sidewalk. 

When we arrived at the bus stop, Lucky had practically ran as fast as he could to Dylan’s hand. Isabelle stayed in the back, smiling. I had told her before we had left to keep her distance from these two. Mainly because I had noticed how alert Nathan was when Isabelle was around. But that’s not something I should worry about now. 

I crouched down, watching a small four-year old girl stumble over the snow to get to me. I let down a finger for her to hang on to while I talked to Nathan and his mom, but I couldn’t help but notice how the woman standing next to Nathan flinched as soon as Angela had hugged my finger. Did she think I’d hurt my own sister? That-that can’t be it, right? 

“Thank you both so much. I don’t know what I would do if you hadn’t helped.” I slightly smiled, they smile back, “Oh you’re welcome! If you need help you can send them our way anytime!” His mother offered. She was the complete opposite of Nathan. She didn’t seem sheepish around me at all. So then why was Nathan so afraid? The thought snuck into the back of my mind, but I just pushed it aside. 

“Ready Angel?” I asked, waiting for her to nod her head, but instead she rushed over to Nathan’s mom, gave her a hug then hurried back. I chuckled, tilting my hand slightly for her to climb on herself. I turned to Nathan, who waved a little before quickly stuffing his hands into the pockets and scrunching up his jacket. Just as I called it, he was freezing. Maybe he wants to come with us for a little? I have to take them shopping since there was only a couple days until Christmas, and Dylan and Lucky still needed to find gifts. 

“Wanna come with us, Nathan? We’re just going shopping then heading back to my house.” I asked. He looked shocked before turning to his mom who nodded and whispered something to him. Nathan nodded his head with a smile on his face. I let my hand down again, watching him lift himself up on the first try, but still trip over thin air and fall. I would help him, but judging by the way he reacted a week ago when I was just trying to check up on him, I don’t think I really want to freak him out even more. 

I thanked his mom again for helping, and we left. Dylan and Lucky were catching up while we made our way to the small store where we usually go to. I handed Angela to Isabelle. She knew what to do and what not to do. I couldn’t imagine Isabelle ever hurting anyone or anything so it was fine. 

Behind me, Lucky and Dylan were laughing about something, and it made me kind of curious, but I didn’t want to bother them. Even if they spent hours talking on the phone and as much time together in school as they could, they still acted like they haven’t seen each other for years. That’s what happens when you let them share a room when they were younger. It wasn’t a bad thing though. Not at all. 

It wasn’t too early. Maybe about midday so it was a little warmer, but that didn’t stop me from worrying about the little ice cube in my palm that was shivering. Was he just sensitive to the cold? It would make sense. Not even Angela was, but then again she was wearing a thicker jacket. I slightly cupped my hand a little more, watching him adjust his position and bundle up a little more. My heart fell, I wish I could help more, but I was scared that he’d freak out again if I did anything more. The last thing I wanted was for him to be uncomfortable. 

“We’re almost there. You okay?” I asked worriedly, passing by some people on the sidewalk that seemed to be coming back from shopping themselves. A lot of them were carrying bags and wrapping paper. So people had the same idea as us.  

Nathan nodded his head, a slight smile on his face. Just a two more blocks. I looked back, seeing that Dylan was holding one of Isabelle’s hands and smirking right at me. Lucky was on his shoulder, and I’m guessing he was doing the exact same thing. I raised an eyebrow, making them both laugh. I rolled my eyes, turning to the huge parking lot coming into view. Surprisingly enough, there weren’t many cars. I guess it was a good thing we came relatively early. 

As soon as I entered the store, I was hit with warm air, slightly making it hard to breath for the split second I was under the heater. I stared down at Nathan, who looked relieved, but he still felt like an ice cube in my hand. Just give him some time. He looked like he was doing better already. A small smile involuntarily formed on my face. 

“Sooo it’s only Lucky and I picking out gifts today?” Dylan walked beside me. 

“Well yeah. If Isabelle and Angela want to get some things too.” I shrugged my shoulders, walking over to the sitting area where the small deli stand was. There weren’t too many people here, and I was just kind of here to make sure everything would be okay. I needed to get gifts too, but I just need to go pick them up when the order is done.  

“Alright. We won’t be long.” Dylan grabbed Isabelle’s hand again, asking her and Angela if they wanted to go pick out gifts for everyone. I laughed when they both cheered. Meanwhile, I let Nathan down on the table. It took him a while to catch his balance, but he just sat back down on the table instead of the human-sized table on top. It’s not like I minded though. We’ve shared a desk together since the start of school anyways. 

“Feeling better?” I asked, holding my head up with one of my hands. 

“Y-yeah,” He stuttered, playing with his hands, “Why’d you w-want me to come a-anyways?” 

I shrugged my shoulders, “Why not? You could have said no if you didn’t want to come.” 

He thought about his response for a bit, “Thank you.”  

I was a bit surprised. Why was he thanking me? What did I do for him? Get him out of the house? I was about to ask what for, but I wasn’t going to. He probably has his reasons. Whatever’s going on in his mind I guess. But I could say I was grateful that he said yes. I would have probably just been on my phone while waiting for Lucky and Dylan to pick out gifts. It gets boring. 

Crowds of people were leaving and some were entering. Every time someone had passed by us I couldn’t help but notice Nathan inch closer to me. Right. It’s been a while since we’ve really hung out I forgot he doesn’t really do well when other people are near him for whatever reason. I used my free hand to hide him from everyone’s sights. Maybe he’s just reticent. It wouldn’t be shocking. No offense! 

“Um, what are you doing for Christmas?” I tried taking his mind off of whatever was going on in there. He slightly flinched, then shook his head like I had just brought him back to reality, “Ah, um, reading? We… We don’t r-really do Christmas. Just hand each other gifts and th-that’s it.” He smiled like that’s normal. Then again, as far as I know it was only him and his mom. Still, it must be pretty sad that the doesn’t really celebrate. 

“That’s it?” I looked at him sadly as he nodded his head. Usually we just kind of decorate together, which was why I hadn’t even set up the tree yet, but then Dylan and I make dinner, and we just open gifts. It’s not like this big thing though. It used to be when my parents were still here. 

“If you want to you can celebrate with us. You don’t need to get us gifts or anything either.” I offered, making him laugh. A confused look was plastered on my face before he explained, “I kinda… already have g-gifts for you all.” 

I blinked a few times. That I was not expecting. When? Why? Why did he get us all gifts? He didn’t have to. Now I kind of feel bad that he actually spent money on us. Did he get one for everyone? I think he did. 

“Huh? W-why?” I was at a loss for words. Of course I bought him something, and I really hoped he liked it, but now I have to worry if it’ll be equal to whatever he bought for me. My initial plan was to surprise him with it, but apparently he had the same idea. I just hoped that it wasn’t anything crazy expensive because then I’d really feel bad. 

“You’ve all b-been really nice to m-me,” He started, “Oh yeah! I still d-don’t have anything for Dylan. D-do you mind helping me?” 

“I mean, yeah of course, b-but how did you even…?” I was confused. How did he get presents if he’s… vertically challenged. Our size difference limits us a lot so how did he even buy gifts if they’d be fifty times bigger than himself? Even we struggle with that which explains why we all go Christmas shopping at different times with Lucky since Angela can’t walk into a human-sized store by herself. 

“I haven’t b-bough them yet. I actually need y-your help with that too.” He laughed nervously. Now that makes more sense. I just nodded, smiling. Nathan was too good of a friend for me. I wasn’t expecting anything honestly. I would definitely give him a hug if I didn’t think he’d be afraid. 

——————

I gave Nathan a list of everything Dylan was into, even the embarrassing stuff that only his family knows about, but I trust Nathan not to tell anyone. Eventually he found something and sent it to me to make sure. It was a poster of one of his favorite actors, signed and everything apparently. Dylan absolutely loves watching movies. Even the old ones made thirty years before he was even born. I don’t know where Nathan found that at, but oh my gosh if all the gifts are like that I am going to feel so bad that mine won’t even be comparable to his. 

Right on time, Dylan and all of them came back with bags in their hands. We all left and walked back to our house. Like I said, today was a good day. 

———Nathan———

Today really was a good day. I have no idea why I had thought that hits morning, but obviously it wasn’t lying to me. It’s been a while since I’ve hung out with Ryker, so of course I said yes to his invitation. Before I left my mom just whispered for me to go, like she was going out to do something as well. I knew she took off work today as well so obviously something was happening there. But I completely forgot about it while I was at Ryker’s house. 

It was already getting late. The sun just barely peaking out over the horizon. There was a light snow outside, covering the already frosted ground outside. It was nice and warm inside, with the heater on and slightly blowing right on me. I was snuggled up near the windowsill in the living room, blanket on top of me and staring outside watching the sun go down. Ryker was helping his siblings wrap gifts, so it was just me for now. It was surprisingly quiet except for the faint crinkling of wrapping paper. 

The front door opened wide, letting in cold air that slightly stung my face. I peaked my head around the wall that obstructed my view, seeing a girl with long, curly black hair with a few dark purple streaks walk into the house, carrying a two bags and a uniform that looked like it belonged to a gas station. I guess Jasmine was working or something? Either way, I pressed myself up father into the corner, trying not to be seen by her. She scares me. Even if Lucky said she’s a lot nicer than she’s been to me, I don’t exactly think she’ll ever like me. 

“Ry! I’m home!” She screamed from across the house. I stayed under the blanket, staying hidden. I have a feeling the second she sees me she’ll start asking questions or threaten me. Luckily, she didn’t see me, and instead headed off to her room, soon followed by the sound of the shower starting. 

Ryker walked back into the room, grabbing something off from a table and leaving again. Then everyone had started bringing in the now wrapped presents and placing them on the on the floor. Ryker came back with a box and set it down beside the couch. I forced myself to crawl a bit closer to see what they were doing. Setting up a Christmas tree. I’m guessing they had the ornaments in the box too. 

“Alright, you guys go crazy.” Ryker laughed, opening up the box and walking to the couch by the windowsill I was currently sitting down at. He sat down, sighing and turned to check on me. I flashed a smile, earning one back. 

I watched as Dylan set up the tree for everyone while Isabelle quickly grabbed some white streamers and draped all over the tree messily. My attention was turned to the still form on the couch next to me. Ryker’s chest slowly fell and rose, his eyes closed and covered up in the blanket. He looked comfortable… 

Was he asleep? Probably. I would too if I had to keep up with this many people. Was it hard? Well no duh, Nathan. He always looks tired when he’s at school. Should I leave now then? I didn’t want to wake him up when I had to go. I would feel terrible. Actually, now would be a great time to ask Dylan about getting Ryker an extra gift in case he won’t like the one I have for him. The only problem is mustering up the courage to even talk to him. Alone. I think it’d be fine though. It’s only for a little bit until I can eventually make this. 

It took them around twenty minutes to place all of their ornaments on the tree, but they did. None of them dared to wake up Ryker after they were done either. Jasmine walked into the room, dressed up in white sweatpants and a sweater. She walked up to Ryker, rolling her eyes with a smile on her face before she noticed me. Her smile disappeared as she glared at me. I sank back, burying myself in the blanket. What did I do to her? 

She averted her attention to the tree, smiling and talking with both Isabelle and Angela. Thanking them for helping with the tree and then continued to play around with Angela in her hands. No wonder she threatened me so much when she had to watch Angela leave. Jasmine was really attached to her. Kind of like my mom. 

“Boo!” I physically jumped, my heart racing from the scare. I looked behind me, seeing Lucky laughing, nearly choking. Dylan was also laughing, but I just smiled. Where did he even come from? 

“Oh my gosh you should have seen your face!” Dylan let out a hand for me to help me get on my feet. It took me a while to balance myself from sitting down for so long, but I managed. 

“You want to get out of here for a bit?” Lucky asked just as soon as Dylan offered an open palm. I stared at it, wide-eyed. I really only trust Ryker to hold me, but I guess this won’t be so bad. 

“Sure.” Lucky grabbed my wrist as we walked on, and for the first time in my life I didn’t trip and fall on my face embarrassingly. Okay, so I had help this time but one day I’ll be able to do it on my own. Hopefully. Or maybe I won’t even have to. 

Dylan took us to his room, where there were tons of posters of games and a little tv stand with a shelf full of some books that he probably needed for school and some games along with VHS tapes. I was honestly really surprised by the place. I don’t know why expected there to be sporty things like weights and basketballs. Y’know. What athletes have. 

There was a bedside dresser with a few human-sized things on it which I was guessing was Lucky’s temporary room. I was guessing these two just shared a room since his other room wasn’t at all filled with things. Just a few clothes and a dresser. I’m guessing everything else was here. 

Lucky and I were set down on the dresser while Dylan sat down on his bed. Lucky gave me a short tour of his own little room before letting me sit down on his bed while he sat in a chair. It was quiet for a second before Jasmine’s voice screamed from the other room, “Lucky!” 

He groaned in response while Dylan snickered, letting lucky onto the floor. It was just the two of us now. I waited until I saw Lucky leave before trying my hardest to calm down before I had a actually tried to talk to Dylan by myself. I could when there were people around. What’s so different this time? I had no one to save me if I said the wrong thing. 

“Oh hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you what you got Ryker for Christmas. Lucky told me you had something good.” Dylan spoke first, a grin on his face. Well I already told Lucky, so if I don’t tell Dylan he’ll just end up telling him. There was no point in hiding it. 

“C-concert tickets.” I answered, hoping he could hear. I was guessing he did by the reaction. His eyes went wide and his jaw slightly opened wide in shock. 

“That one band he’s absolutely crazy for?” 

I nodded my head. Not the way I would word it. I actually kind of find it funny how much Ryker loves that band. I forgot the name, but he’ll remind me when I show him the tickets. 

“Oh my gosh he’s gonna to go crazy.” Dylan laughed. Does that mean he’ll like it? If that’s so then I don’t need to ask for help. This makes my life so much easier. I’m so glad I don’t have to ask for any favors. It’s not exactly a grate first impression to immediately ask for something. I let out a sigh of relief.

——————

I didn’t leave the house until about an hour after Ryker woke up. It was close to midnight, but it’s not like I’m some little kid who has a bed time. Heck, we don’t even have school tomorrow so it really didn’t matter. 

When I arrived home, my mom was asleep on the couch, the tv playing The Golden Girls per usual and the blanket halfway on the ground. I smiled to myself, pulling the blanket over her and turning up the heater. She was freezing. I headed to my room, grabbed a pair of clothes, took an extremely hot shower, and buried myself under the blankets. Things were going great. Maybe life really didn’t hate me all that much. 

———Ryker———

It was Christmas Day. The day everyone was waiting for. Especially Angela and Isabelle who woke me up at six in the morning to wish everyone in the house a merry Christmas. I admit, I was just the slightest bit annoyed, but that was because I went to bed late at night cleaning up and setting up gifts. I also had to take out some food to defrost for later. 

This morning was a huge mess. Even if we weren’t really doing anything until later, I still had to go pick up a few things before. The day before I helped Nathan with the gifts he had bought, which by the way he ordered online (I don’t know how I didn’t think about this sooner) I wrapped the one’s I could while he wrapped the other two that belonged to Lucky and Angela. I was honestly surprised at how thoughtful he was. He even bought one for Jasmine and I know for a fact that Jasmine would absolutely love it. Although she doesn’t like to admit it, she absolutely loves stuffed animals. I just don’t know how he even knew. Was he just guessing? Then I also noticed that he was hiding mine from me. I wondered what it could be, but I would find out later today. 

I also had to go pick him up today, but that wasn’t my priority right now. I planned on going early in the morning, but the snow was coming down pretty heavy so I had to wait. I wouldn’t have minded heading out there, it’s just I didn’t want to get sick. I rarely do, but when it does happen, it’s terrible. So now it was almost four in the afternoon, only about two hours before all the stores started closing. Just barely making it in time to go pick up the cake Jasmine had ordered. Why she didn’t get it herself? I had zero idea. I would have made her get it if she hadn’t been half asleep. 

Once in the store, the sweet smell of strawberry and chocolate filled my nose. Curse my sweet tooth. Where did she even find this place at? It was like in the middle of nowhere, yet it looked so nice inside and smelled delicious. A woman walked up to the counter, her apron dressed in icing and batter. 

“Hi! Did you have an order?” She smiled, ready to tap away at the screen in front of her. 

“Oh, um, I think it’s under the name Jasmine?” I replied, not being able to take my eyes off of the amazing looking cookies that were displayed. 

“Yup! Let me just go get the box.” She left the room. Jasmine purposely made me come get this. She was doing something at home, and she thought she could distract me. Damn it it’s working. 

The woman came back with a white box and typed something in the computer before l grabbed the box, and I guess she saw me looking at the displays because she just laughed, “I’ll give you a small box for free. How’s that sound?” 

“Yes please.” I almost immediately replied, laughing along with her. I swear if Jasmine makes fun of me for this when I get home… I was handed another small box while I thanked the lady and left. 

When I walked in the house, Jasmine was waiting right at the front door, a huge smirk on her face. I glared at her. 

“Why the extra box?” She could barely hold in her snicker. I rolled my eyes, “Shut up. You’re not getting any.” I stuck my tongue out immaturely, while she tried reaching for the extra box I was holding just above my head. She gave up about two minutes later, snatching the cake from my hands and muttering something as she made her way to the kitchen. 

I looked at the time, reading six thirty already. Now would be a good time to go quickly pick up Nathan. I gave him a quick text, placed the box of cookies in my room, and went back out. 

——————

It only took me about half an hour to walk over there and back. Everyone knew Nathan was coming, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited. I mean, he’s never had a real Christmas according to him, so I’m glad I can at least give him the opportunity. Even if we aren’t family or anything, I think it’s a nice change of things. Plus, afterwards the younger ones go to bed while the rest of us stay up a little longer and go to our separate rooms. Really I was the only one alone because Jasmine falls asleep almost immediately. Nathan was actually staying the night, and not in the human accommodating house. I didn’t want him to be alone so I had offered to make a little space for him in my room. He agreed. 

So now we were at the house, Nathan sitting down in my room away from the chaos happening. I was cooking, Dylan clearing the middle of the living room for later, Jasmine keeping the little ones busy, Lucky was taking a shower. Things were going great surprisingly enough. This was only the second time time we’ve celebrated without our parents, so I was expecting something to happen, but everyone seemed happy. The first time was hard for us, and we barely even wanted to celebrate, but it’s what our parents would have wanted, so we kept on going. 

The food was relatively done, I just needed to go get some plates and get everyone in here. I went to my room, finding Nathan sitting on the makeshift bed I made out of some soft cloth I cut off of one my hoodies. What? I don’t used that one anymore. I would have been more than happy to let him on my bed and I sleep on the floor (I’m sure he was terrified just as much as I was about what could happen if we slept on the same bed) but I figured he’d feel bad, so I tried to make it as comfy as possible. 

“Sorry for just leaving you here. I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with the chaos happening in the other room.” I explained, offering a hand. He shook his head, stepping on and falling forward yet again. He’ll get it at some point. Hopefully. 

“It’s fine.” He replied, groaning as he sat back up. 

Lucky was already making the three of them a plate. I don’t really know where he learned how to do it, but he just did. I wasn’t complaining. It was less work for me anyways. As soon as everyone had their plate, we ate around the coffee table, laughing and sometimes messing around with one another. Jasmine had brought up the cookies again before I lightly slapped her shoulder. 

Once we all finished eating, it was time for presents, which I handed out to everyone. Nathan told me to let everyone know to open the present he gave them last just so he knows how much they would all really like it. I just went along with it, so now everyone was kind of excited. I opened mine, getting one of the hoodies I had shown Jasmine just a few days ago. From Dylan a pair of new headphones since my old ones broke sadly. Lucky bought me some new markers since my old ones were dry. Isabelle and Angela combined their gifts and gave me a little picture frame of both of them (My heart was melting) that I would definitely be placing on the tv stand later. 

It was weird for me since I didn’t have a physical gift from Nathan, and I didn’t really know how to react to that. Just what did he get me? I was so confused, but I waited patiently. I’m sure I’d love whatever it is either way. 

Everyone was done opening their gifts, only left with one. Nathan jumped when all the attention was on him, visibly trembling. I stepped in for him. “Jasmine should go first.” I grinned. She rolled her eyes, grabbing the box I had stuffed the gift in. 

“Like this is gonna be good…” She mumbled. I elbowed her side while Nathan looked down a little sadly. Just wait… 

As soon as she had opened it, her jaw nearly dropped. She glared at me for a split second before turning back to the adorable looking teddy bear. She hates admitting it, but she loves those kinds of things. 

“Okay, maybe you’re not so bad after all.” She smiled at him for the first time ever. 

“My turn!” Isabelle and Angela both opened theirs at the same time, revealing a matching set of clothes. I had to cover my ears from the high pitched squeals. Nathan laughed, covering his ears too. 

Lucky opened his, a game that he’s been wanting for forever. He hugged Nathan, he flinched at the contact, but either way hugged him lightly back. Dylan followed, confused at what his could be before he opened it up all the way and stuttered, struggling to find what to say. 

“H-how did you…” He looked over the me, but I just shrugged and smirked. 

“You are literally the best.” Dylan laughed, folding the paper back up. 

We all laughed, including Nathan who was walking closer to me, waiting on the edge. Was he waiting for something? Oh! I let me hand out, seeing him use my thumb to help him balance so he didn’t embarrass himself in front of everyone. I brought him closer, confused the entire time as he pulled out his phone, and seconds later my own phone going off. He pointed at his as I hurried to pull mine out, and nearly dropped my phone when I saw the pictures he sent. 

“You’re kidding, right?” I felt my face heat up slightly, watching him shake his head and laugh a bit. I did a double take before covering my mouth with my free hand. 

“Told you he’d love it!” Dylan smiled. 

I absolutely do yes. 

“I-I, um, wasn’t sure if you’d like it.” 

“Are you kidding? This is literally the best thing you could have ever given me.” I laughed, trying my hardest to hide the blush on my face, but it was too late because everyone was laughing except for Angela and Isabelle. Including me. Oh my gosh this was so much better than my gift to him. How was I even going to compare to his? 

I looked to Lucky, who nodded his head and grabbed it really quickly before I even let Nathan back onto the table. Lucky handed it to him and pointed at me. Nathan started opening it, stopping halfway as he tried to figure out what it was. It wasn’t anything too special. Just a picture frame of the two of us. A picture we had taken a long time ago when we had to share classes. The same day that we hung out together for the first time. 

“It’s not anything special. I’m not the best at picking gifts, but I hope you like it.” 

I was surprised when he hugged it close to his chest and looked like he was about to cry. 

“Awww.” Lucky joked around. I couldn’t help but notice the slight blush on his cheeks. He loved it. 

We cleaned up, had the younger kids go to sleep and Jasmine. Dylan and Lucky were in their room watching a movie, while my door was closed along with my curtains. The only light was coming from the dim lamp I had on my desk. I let Nathan down on the nightstand. We were both changed into something more comfortable. So now it was just the two of us. 

“I can’t believe you bought me tickets.” I exasperated, still in shock. 

“Well yeah. You’re really nice to me, help me out a whole lot.” 

I turned to face him, a slight smile on my face, “Really? I feel like you’re the one always helping me.” He nodded his head. It went silent for a bit before I decided to break it, “Are you tired?” Honestly, I was exhausted, but I was willing to keep Nathan company until he fell asleep. 

“Mmm… yeah.” He replied, already under a blanket. I chuckled lightly, gettin under my own, “Good night then.” 

“Good night, Ryker.” I heard him reply. I’ve rarely heard him say my name before, and I don’t know why my face started heating up. 

Four days later.

———Nathan———

Everything was going so great. The Christmas party at Ryker’s was amazing. Even the few days before that it was great just the be with everyone. My mom was happy, I was happy. Life was finally turning around for me. For the first time in years I finally felt like I could actually have a normal life. I had friends, I was going to graduate in five months. Everything was looking all up for me. 

So why did it get flipped back around? 

My mom and I were just going to go buy fireworks. Just the small ones. Nothing too huge. That’s all we wanted. This was really the only thing we truly celebrated together since it marked the start of the a new year. It marked that we could restart our lives over again. We loved watching the many colors paint the sky. That’s all we wanted. And we couldn’t have it. 

We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time I guess? Because everyone just acted like nothing had happened. That everything was going to be fine and okay. But it wasn’t. Nothing was “fine and okay.” I had really thought that maybe my life was finally turning around for the better just like my mom’s had, but no. I can never have anything nice just once. Just once I wanted something nice. And I couldn’t have it. Just like the fireworks we couldn’t have. 

The store we were shopping at was relatively empty. Only a few people here and there. The only thing about it was that it was really close to the giant part of the city. That was all we were wary about. But we brushed it off. After all, we would only be there for about an hour then head back home. 

“Ooo these look nice, right?” My mom picked up a tiny pack. I smiled, holding out the basket I was holding and let her place it in along with the two other tiny packs we had. We had continued looking, not at all aware of the large tremors that only grew more and more. And neither did the other people in the store. We all had just thought it was some unaware giant walking across the street. If only that were true. 

The next thing we know, there’s screaming outside, we heard people fighting, we were rushed outside so we didn't get hurt, but we shouldn’t have ran outside. Two giants were fighting right in the open. Brutally at that. One had a very muscular build while the other was built, but not as muscular as the guy on top of him, laying punches in the face. People tried to break up the fight, but it only grew worse, and soon enough, the giants decided to bring humans into it. The one that was being pouched in the face continuously had tried to reach practically anything he could, and that just so happened to be a human-sized tree from a nearby park. Right where my mom was standing dialing 911. 

I mean, what are the chances of that? It seemed like a made up lie, but it wasn’t. Trust me, I’ve tried my hardest to convince myself that it wasn’t real, that there was no way my mom would just be standing there and it just so happens that the giant would try reaching for the tree right next to her. Hah! It was ridiculous, right? I only wished I wasn’t telling the truth. 

I stood in fear as I heard her scream at the top of her lungs while in the giant’s fist which was also holding the huge tree that looked minuscule in his hand. I couldn’t move. My mom was there. Getting hurt. And all I could do was stand and watch. 

Eventually help did come, all the other humans had gone away except for the few that actually cared about what happened with my mom. I knew I was, because as soon as the paramedics came to see how she was doing, I nearly started sobbing in front of so many people. I’ve seen her like this before. She’ll be okay. Just let her heal for a few weeks and she can come back home. Right? I wish that were true. I wish that we hadn’t even decided to go to that stupid store. I wished that she was standing right next to me. But she wasn’t. And now everything I’ve worked so hard to build up here in this city is just taken away. 

I stayed at the hospital, right next to my mom’s limp and weak body. The doctors were trying their hardest to keep her from… you can probably guess. Five broken ribs, a broken leg, and internal bleeding. I’m also pretty sure the doctor’s were hiding something from me, but I don’t know. She couldn’t breath well, and she winces every time she tries to move. Every time she wakes up she tells me to go home and get some rest. I tell her that I wasn’t leaving until she would be able to come home with me. 

Today was no different. She would wake up, struggle to sit up, and eat her breakfast while I stayed sitting on the little bench. The doctor’s let me stay the night. I guess they felt bad or something? I didn’t know, but I wasn’t leaving her here. My phone would go off at least two times a day. It was always Ryker. I’m guessing he had heard what had happened, but I really didn’t feel like talking. Not now when this was when my mom needed me most. 

“You should…. Eat…. Hon.” She had to take a few breaths between each word, which worried me, but the doctor’s would help with that. I believed it. 

“I’m okay mom. Don’t worry about me.” My voice was light and tired. I didn’t feel hungry, but I knew my body was. I hadn’t eaten since the day she came here which was about three days ago. School starts tomorrow, but they called and said I didn’t have to come back until two weeks.  

I refused to cry over this. If I did, then it would show that I’d given up. Mom always hated to see me cry. So I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t have to anyways since she would be coming back home with me. 

My phone started going off again. Everyday at exactly nine and six Ryker would call, and I would let it ring until he was sent to voicemail. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to do anything but stay here with my mom and make sure she gets better. If she doesn’t then I don’t know what I would do. 

“Maybe… you should… talk to him.” She wheezed. I shook my head, “I don’t feel like talking to anyone.” 

“He’s worried, Nate. Just… promise me… you’ll talk to him?” I thought about it for a second before nodding my head. I was already hanging onto a promise her and I made all those years ago. 

——————

“Mom!” 

“Yes, Nate?” 

“Do you promise to stay with me for forever?” I hung onto the hem of her tattered dress. 

“Of course.” She smiled down at me.

——————

She had to keep that promise. She’s all I have left. Dad was already gone… I didn’t want to lose her too. 

“Honey, go get some breakfast. For me, please?” She had begged, and I just couldn’t say no. I walked over to the door, and told I would be back. 

———Ryker———

What happened three days ago was heartbreaking. At first I didn’t believe it. That’s a really big stretch, but it happened. How do I know? Because I’ve been calling and calling Nathan, and he doesn’t answer. It’s almost like he doesn’t wan tot talk, but then again I did the same with my own siblings after our parents passed away. I pushed them away and locked myself in my room. That’s what was happening with Nathan. 

I had heard his mom was in the hospital, still healing, and I really do hope that she would be okay. Her and Nathan. It’s going to break Nathan if she… y’know. 

Everyday I call him twice, he never answered. I understood why. I couldn’t be mad at him. The same thing happened to me. I pushed everyone away, and I only pulled myself together when I realized that they were also hurting. They helped me out like they did each other and now look at us. Back to some-what normal. Not to mention that they didn’t know how to cook or clean. 

I groaned, leaning back in my desk chair while looking at my phone. I felt terrible. All I wanted to do was to try and help him out as much as I could. I would give him anything he needed. I know how bad it gets, and I would hate to see him like that. 

My phone was going off, and I was surprised to see that Nathan was actually calling me back. I quickly picked up my phone and clicked the green phone button. 

“Oh my gosh Nathan! Are you okay? I-I heard what happened and-“ 

“This is Ryker, right?” It was a raspy woman’s voice. His mom.

“Oh, y-yes ma’am.” My hands were shaking, my heart racing. I don’t know why. 

“I-I’m sorry to ask… you of this but… can you do something… for me?” I covered my mouth, my heart throbbing. She sounded terrible. How could Nathan still be there and listen to his own mother like this? I couldn’t if I was him. Oh Nathan… 

“Anything!” 

I heard her lightly chuckle, “Just make sure… Nate doesn’t do anything bad… please? H-he’s really not… doing good.” 

“Of course.” I would imagine he wouldn't be doing too good. 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

She hung up. 

I threw my phone on my bed, worried about what Nathan was even doing. I really am worried about him. So is nearly all of my siblings. Including Jasmine. I really wanted to talk to him. But I don’t think he’s going to school for the next couple of weeks. How do I know? Because I have the exact same message from the school. Also with a small note from Mrs. Kay saying that I should be there for him. Why wouldn’t I? I’m not a fake friend. I just hoped Nathan would call me eventually. 

———Nathan———

She wasn’t getting any better. Actually, I think she was getting worse. The doctor’s increased the amount of pain meds for her, and nearly everyday they have to do an emergency procedure because she couldn’t breath right. That’s when I received the news that she had a punctured lung, which explains why she couldn’t breath properly. But that wasn’t good news. There was none. Anything I had heard was something that was wrong with her. 

It was evening now, I was reading a book while she had the channel turned on to The Golden Girls. Everything was peaceful until she had a fit of coughs, and eventually the heart monitor was beeping fast. The doctors rushed in, and I could hear her struggle to breath again. 

“Mom!” I yelled, watching as they had rushed her down the hallway. 

“I love you, Nate.” She formed a weak smile right before they shut the door on me to the procedure room. 

——————

I came back home after a week of staying in the hospital on that uncomfortable bench. I had a bag over my shoulder, and stood in the empty living room. It was quiet. You could only hear the faint sounds of crickets outside in the dark. I headed to my room, turned on the lamp in my room, and laid down in my bed, holding the old teddy bear up against my chest. 

She was gone. 

Tears formed in my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. And I didn’t. She wouldn’t want to see me like that. She would say that there was no reason to cry. But there was. I had no one now. Just myself. What would I do now? I sucked in a shaky breath, falling asleep and hoping that all of those was just some sick nightmare. 

When I woke up the next morning, it was quiet still. I stood up, changed my clothes and headed to the living room, where no one was sitting down watching tv. I headed to my mom’s room, finding her bed messy. She always makes sure it’s made before leaving the house. 

So it really wasn’t a nightmare. 

I wasn’t hungry. At least I didn’t feel hungry. I had only eaten that one day, and even then all I had was half a muffin. It’s been about four days since then. I felt that my body was weak, but I didn’t care. There was nothing for me to care about. I had just thought for once second that everything was alright. That everything was going great, and then this happens. It’s just my luck, right? 

My phone was going off. It hasn’t for a while. Ryker was calling again, and I still didn’t really feel like talking to anyone. Of course I realized that he was just trying to check up on me, but I really wasn’t up to the task. I wasn’t even up to the task of making myself something to eat, so what makes anyone think I could hold a conversation. 

It was cold in the house, so I just grabbed a blanket and bundled myself up on the couch. The tv was on in the background. It was usually on, and I was so used to it playing something while I was in my room reading or taking a nap. What was I supposed to do with my life now? There really was no meaning if I didn’t have anyone anymore. Ryker could move on. He didn’t need to worry about me. I was just a temporary friend anyways. 

Why am I thinking like this? 

I can’t believe I fell for a false ending. I thought I could just live a happy life now. Of course whatever bad luck was following me never went away. I could keep wishing all I want, but it wouldn’t bring any of my parents back. I could cry, but it wouldn’t bring them back. No matter how hard it was to keep the tears from falling. They would hate to see me like that. They would also hate to see me alone, but it was hard to choose between the two. 

I don’t want to leave Ryker. 

I groaned, burying my face into my hands. Maybe Ryker would give up on me too if I stayed quiet long enough. He’d eventually stop calling me everyday and find a new friend that was much, much better than me. Then again… I don’t want to lose him too. I really do like him. He’s been nothing but patient and kind to me. This was how I’d be repaying him? I was a horrible person. I would tell him that I’m sorry if I had the guts to. But I don’t. There’s nothing more I want in the world than to just cry and cry and cry, and I couldn’t. 

“I’m trying to keep myself together, mom.” I whispered, stifling back a sob and burying my entire body under the sheets. I felt terrible. I deserve everything that’s happened to me… I’m a horrible person and no one would disagree with me. 

——————

For the next four days I just slept. Off and on. There were some days I would sit outside in the cold and watch as people walked down the street or how many cars went passing by. I’d go back inside, lay down on the couch with my little bear and go to sleep. I didn’t feel like doing anything else, and somehow I woke up the next day feeling even more tired than before. I didn’t know if that was a sign that my body was giving up on me, or if was from the lack of food that I’ve been neglecting to give to my body. I just haven’t been feeling like it. 

Ryker never stopped calling, and each time he did my heart throbbed. Each time he called I had to hold in the tears that were already so hard not to let out. All of a sudden I wanted nothing more than for him to hold me close and keep me warm like he used to. I missed it. I missed him. Which was an odd thing for me to say. I grew too used to him, but was that really a bad thing? It just means it’ll hurt more when he eventually leaves me. He’ll take one good look at me now, and abandon me. Even the slightest mention of the thought was enough for me to not to answer his calls. I wanted to answer so badly. 

Please help me. 

I always repeated in my mind. I still had his gift. The picture of the two of us the first time we ever hung out together. I didn’t realize how small I really was next to him until I saw that photo, but I loved it. I had a real smile on my face. I haven’t been able to do that for a while. 

This morning wasn’t any different, I sat outside for a while until I couldn’t feel my fingers, walked back inside, grabbed a book, and read until I fell asleep. When I woke up, I’d put the tv on, clean up whatever little mess was in the house, and head back outside for a little. I at least like to get a little bit of sunlight everyday. I wasn’t really taking the best care of myself, but I could just do this one little thing. It couldn’t hurt me anymore than I already was. 

Maybe I could walk over to Ryker’s? 

That was an insane thought. There was no way I could do it. Plus, he probably doesn’t even want to see me. He’s called so many times I forgot what number I was at. Why would he want to see me? I really haven’t been the best. At all. Though… I could at least try. I know where he lives. I’ve been there plenty of times to know. I really did want to see him too. 

I grabbed my phone, zipped up my jacket, and started to walk slowly down the sidewalk. It was a long walk just to reach the small gas station that was close by their house. The sun was long gone, it was cold and snowing lightly outside, my face was freezing and my skin stung from the cold, but I kept on going. I was almost there. If he wanted to see me, he’d let me in and I could be warm again, have someone to talk to, finally be comfortable. If he doesn’t, then I’d be left out in the cold and get hypothermia unless I can make it back to my house in time. 

In total, it took me nearly an hour and a half to reach their house. I stared at the huge door in front of me, shivering. This was a bad idea. This could either go really good, or end really badly. I guess there was only one way to find out. 

I grabbed my phone with my shaking, ice-cold hands and called Ryker back. 

———Ryker———

Everyone was gone on some overnight school trip. The entire district. It was to some theme park a couple hours away from here, and I didn’t really feel like attending. Actually, I haven’t even been going to school since I received that message. I’ve been hanging onto hope that Nathan would eventually answer one of my calls. He never did. 

So now, here I was, watching a movie by myself in the living room. It was pretty late, but might as well finish off the movie. I was sitting down with a bowl of half-eaten popcorn when my phone started ringing. Probably just one of my siblings- 

It was Nathan. 

I freaked out, quickly pausing the movie and placing the bowl I had on the coffee table in front of me before answering. 

“Hello?” 

It took a while for Nathan to reply, but he did, and I was more than shocked. 

“U-um. C-c-could you o-o-open your d-d-door?” 

He just walked all the way from his house to mine. In the cold. While it was snowing. Of course I hurried to open the door, seeing the small being that was Nathan on my doorstep, shivering. I dropped my phone of the floor, scooping him up into my hand, hearing him let out a tiny squeak before I shut the door behind us. 

I gave him a second to catch his breath, his chest quickly rising up and down. I apologized so many times as I slid down the door. Nathan did not look good at all. He looked skinnier, I could tell he wasn’t really taking care of himself. I waited for him to say something, but he was struggling himself just to find the words. 

I wasn’t mad at him. Not at all. I’ve wanted to see him. I’ve wanted him to say for me to help him. Was this the time? I would do everything I could for him. Starting with making him something to eat since I’m positively sure he hasn’t been eating. I technically made a promise to his mom and I was not about to break it. 

“Did… did you want something to eat?” I whispered. It took him a second to process what I asked him, but he nodded, and I couldn’t tell if he was shivering of trembling in my hand. I stood up slowly, guiding us to the kitchen and tilting my hand on the counter for him to get off. I grabbed a plate of leftovers I made for myself last night and started heating it up in the microwave. I watched with sympathy as he scooted his back up against the paper towels and dug his head into his knees. He felt bad. 

“H-hey look, I promise I’m not mad at all. I understand why you didn’t answer my calls.” I tried to make him feel better. It’s not like I would lie to him. Nathan just shook his head, taking deep breaths to stop himself from crying. I bit the inside of my cheek, hearing the microwave go off. I took out the small container of chicken and rice and worked on making Nathan a small enough plate. I handed him the small pieces, offering a small smile as he took a bite. 

I waited until he was full, seeing that he didn’t really eat much, but it was better than nothing. Then, went over to the living room to turn off the tv. Obviously he wasn’t going home tonight. He was probably exhausted anyways, and I never did get rid of those makeshift accommodations for him. I don’t think he really wants to be alone either. 

“Do you wanna go lie down for a bit?” I asked, my hand palm up and ready for him to climb on. Nathan nodded his head, climbing on and sitting in the middle, a little warmer now. I closed the door to my room and turned on the lamp on my desk. I placed my hand on the nightstand for him to get off, but he didn’t Instead, he shook his head, grabbing as much of my sweater sleeve as he could and hung on tight. My heart fell. He just wanted someone to be there for him, and how could I deny him that? 

I smiled, sitting down up against the head of my bed and just let him stay in my palm. He was hurting, and I couldn’t just leave him like that. That’s when he let go and pointed back to the set up I had on my nightstand. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I don’t mind. I get why you’re upset. I’ve been through the same thing.” His eyes went wide before shaking his head, “It’s not the same thing! I watched the doctors take her away. She said ‘I love you’ right before she went through the doors, and she never came out. She knew she wasn’t going back with me. I had no one waiting for me at home because my dad was also killed right in front of my face! I’ve been depressed and lonely for years, and I had no one. Did you have to watch your own parents die in front of your face? Were you alone after everything happened? No, because you had your siblings to help you!” He covered his mouth as I stared wide-eyed right back at him. He wasn’t wrong. I had people help me. Nathan didn’t. Which was why I wanted to help him. But the next words that came out of his mouth shook me to the core. 

“Please don’t hurt me. I-I’m s-sorry.” 

He brought his knees up to his chest and covered his head with his arms. My heart skipped a beat. He was afraid of me, and that just made me horrified. He never told me what happened to him before he moved here. He never told me why he was so afraid of giants. So, whatever had happened was obviously was affecting how he felt right now. 

“What? No, never little guy. Why would I hurt you?” 

“You’re not mad?” 

I shook my head, “Not at all.” 

I watched as he wiped away loose tears, sniffling them back and scooting closer to me. I braced myself for what I knew what was coming next. 

———Nathan———

Once the tears had started flooding my eyes, there was nothing I could do to stop from crying in front of Ryker now. I bit the side of my cheek so hard the faint taste of blood filled my mouth. Don’t cry. Don’t cry, don’t cry. But my own words didn’t stop the tears from cascading down my face. 

Ryker fixed my position in his palm while I struggled to wipe away the loose tears that were only falling down harder the more I kept thinking about the tragic events that have happened this past month. Why? Why’d she have to leave me here? 

I was full on sobbing at this point. I had buried my face in Ryker’s hoodie to muffle the sounds of my cries. I could hear the faint sound of his heartbeat, I could hear his light breathing. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Ryker. Is what I wish I could say to him, but I currently couldn’t 

Something warm pressed me up lightly against Ryker’s chest. I flinched, slightly turning my head to see that the pad of his thumb was offering some kind of comfort. It felt weird to me, but somehow I liked it? I didn’t want him to let go of me, but I was also scared at the same time. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m right here, Nathan.” Ryker whispered softly, noticeably trying to comfort me while I just cried and cried into the fabric of his hoodie. I’m sorry Ryker. I wanted to say it so badly, but I couldn’t. Why did he worry about me so much? I should be at home, alone, crying into my pillow. Why did he want to stay with an insignificant little human whose life somehow gets turned upside down every other month? 

“I’m s-s-sorry.” I managed to say in between sobs. He lightly squeezed me against him before responding, “You’re the one who’s hurt, Nathan. You don’t have to apologize if I’m the one who wants to help you, okay?” 

And I could practically hear the sad smile forming on his face as he continued to offer a comforting presence. 

I quietly kept on crying, grabbing fistfuls of as much fabric as I could while feeling safe up against his chest. Was this what I needed? To be held just like this and cry and cry? It felt so good. I didn’t want Ryker to ever let go of me. The soft, warm touch on my back felt amazing. 

“I-I miss her, Ryker.” I cried in between sobs. 

“I know, I know. It’s alright,” He started lightly rubbing my back, making me slightly shudder, “Do you want me to let you go?” I quickly shook my head, sniffling while tears silently fell down my face. Please don’t ever let me go. I snuggled up closer, closing my eyes. This felt right. Nothing else could make me feel better. 

“You okay?” He asked me. I nodded my head, hearing him chuckle above me. I missed both my parents. So, so much. Nothing could describe just how grateful I was that Ryker didn’t shut me out. I’ve never felt better than right now at this very moment. I don’t know what I would have done. Probably continue to starve myself until I eventually died. That was probably my initial plan, but I doubt that now that I’m with Ryker he’d just let me do that. Heck, the first thing he asks me is if I want something to eat, which I involuntarily nodded to. I felt safe when I was around him. 

Ryker moved, but never moved me. He just laid down and just let me lay down on him. I smiled to myself, closing my eyes and just letting sleep take over me. 

And it felt like the first real sleep I’ve had in ages. 

——————

Please don’t hate me, I was just in an extremely angsty mood TwT. But hey, at least we get some comfort, right? Hahaa… (Please don’t hurt me)

I’m sorry this one took so long, it’s just I wanted to add a whole bunch of wholesome scenes. It was fun and depressing to write this, but everything’s all coming together. (Please don’t mind the many errors I was too tired edit it) Only a few more chapters and it’s done! Thank you guys for sticking with me on this ride, thank you all!

[pentacass]

Sol: Now do the rest of the prompt list

my fandoms may change but my followers will forever be unhinged lmaoo thank you <3 here we go!! [prompt list]

4. Hiding/sneaking/hidden movement

“One with the shadows.” “They will never see me coming.” “Don’t miss me while I’m gone.”

5. Taking a short rest

“Rested and ready.” “I’ve had enough. Let’s move.” “That helped…more than I’d like to admit.”

10. Sending them to talk to an NPC

“Do I have to?” “Perhaps they’ll say something useful.” “A bit of conversation couldn’t hurt…much.”

13. Picking a lock

“Child’s play.” “A second is all I need.” “Lock, meet key.”

14. Looking at a globe

“Humbling, to be reminded how vast the world is, and how small we are.” “So much to explore…”

15. Looking at an astrolabe

“Are the other worlds as chaotic as ours?” “Wonder if I’ll ever get a chance to see them.”

16. Looking at a telescope

“Do not make me use that in the day.” “The stars look beautiful.”

18. Looking at a nonmagical lamp

“A lamp. Nothing more.” “I am not rubbing that.”

19. Noticing a trap

“Step carefully, or lose a limb.” “I can disarm that.” “Such shoddy handiwork.”

21. Comments/reactions near an Act 1 location

Emerald Grove: “A defensible position. Are its inhabitants capable of doing so, I wonder.” Goblin Camp: “This place reeks of savagery. But it can provide an army, if you know how to harness its strength…rancid as it is.” Rosymorn Trail: “Some views on the surface are worth leaving home for.” Underdark: “How I’ve missed the Underdark. A part of me will always regard it as home.”

22. Comments/reactions near an Act 2 location

First time entering Shadow-Cursed Lands: “Be wary. These shadows unsettle even my heart.” Last Light Inn: “A safe refuge. How long can it stand against such darkness?” House of Healing (surgical chamber): “Reminds me of the torture dungeons back home.” Moonrise Towers: “Be on your guard. We approach the heart of corruption.”

23. Comments/reactions near an Act 3 location

Rivington: “Chaos sowed, disorder blooms, opportunities abound. We should take advantage of it.” Lower City, Guild entrance: “The Guild’s a good source of information. Just don’t let them bilk you out of your coin purse.” House of Hope: “I’ve stolen from many, but never a devil. How exciting.” Bloomridge Park: “A peaceful place for reflection…at night, at least.”

24. Lines said in the Morphic Pool or High Hall

[Morphic Pool] “The Netherbrain lies ahead. Steel yourself - it will not go down without a fight, but oh, what a fight we will give it.” [High Hall] “The final battle awaits us. If we live, let it be in victory. If we die, let us go in a blaze of glory.” [How are you feeling?] “I feel good. I feel alive. My blood sings at the thought of battle, and my blades ache to dance once again. Even if these are to be our last moments, I shall live gloriously until the end.” [Ready to be a hero?] -laughs- “I am not a hero, and never will be. I live for the thrill of victory, not the accolades it brings. But you will be the city’s hero, and I shall be proud to call you friend.”

25. Party banter with Astarion

A: “Your eyes are more receptive to sunlight with that tadpole, aren’t they? Why do you still complain so much about it?” S: “I hate the sun.” A: “Come now, must you insist on being a soggy little blanket all the time?” S: “And I hate you. I tend to kill the things I hate.” A: “What, do you intend to kill the sun?” S: “One day.”

26. Party banter with Gale

S: “You mentioned you would go somewhere remote if you were ever to leave us, Gale.” G: “Yes, I did say that. What brought this to mind?” S: “Any chance I could persuade you to detonate the orb at Menzoberranzan’s gates?” G: -weary chuckle- “Assuming that I would find myself in such desperate straits…no. The point of heading somewhere remote is to prevent needless casualties.” S: “That city deserves it, but I suppose it would be a pity to lose you in such an endeavour.” G: “Ah, you do care.”

29. Party banter with Lae'zel

L: “Your ferocity on the battlefield is impressive, drow. It is a pity that you fight like a coward.” S: “Of course you take issue with my methods.” L: “You have proven your ability as a warrior, yet you waste it skulking about in the shadows. It is unbecoming.” S: “Let the gloryhounds be bait as they wish. I will take my kills while you take all the hits.” L: -scoffs- “You should not take pride in being fragile.”

30. Party banter with Shadowheart

SH: “You look unsettled by the shadows, Solistre. Now I’ve seen everything.” S: “These shadows are unnatural. I question your wisdom if you are not unsettled by it.” SH: “My Lady protects me from the ill effects of her curse. I have nothing to fear.” S: “Nothing to fear, yes - until Shar no longer has use of her little pawn.” SH: “Your barbs mean nothing to me. My immunity is proof of Lady Shar’s favour.” S: “You close your eyes and revel in blindness. Perhaps your ‘Lady’ took more than just your memories.”

31. Party banter with Halsin

H: “Are there drow druids in Menzoberranzan, Solistre?” S: “Worship of Lolth takes precedence in the city. Reverence directed anywhere else is…frowned upon.” H: “I see. So, none at all?” S: “None that I know of.” H: “Ah, well. I was just curious what are the common forms a druid would shift into in the Underdark...”

34. Party banter with Minsc

S: “Boo was watching me sleep last night, Minsc. Tell him to stop it.” M: “Oh? I apologise for his rudeness. It is most unusual. Boo! You will stop watching Solistre sleep!” B: -explanatory squeaks- M: “Ah…I see. Boo says you smell like a drow we once knew, someone who tried to hurt him once. But, even though you smell bloodier, he says you are to be trusted.” B: -more squeaking- M: “And he thanks you for handling him gently despite the surprise last night.” S: “Whatever. Just stop watching me.”

36. What are some situational dialogues they would say when something happens to another companion or you talk to them while in a quest-specific location (such as commenting on Karlach’s heart, Elminster visiting Gale, visiting Cazador’s mansion, etc)?

“Shadowheart did well to defy Shar. It will hurt deeply, but she cannot stop moving forward. Her former family will be hunting her now. Let us ease her burden, and make their lives difficult.” “Karlach looks much happier with her heart fixed…even if partially. She is too liberal with her hugs now, but her smile is a light amid this Shadow Curse.” “When a god tells you that suicide is one path to redemption…that is a good sign to stop listening. Gale has proven an intelligent man thus far. He will find another way. He must.”

37. How would they respond to a player character prompting them with, “Tell me about yourself”?

-tired scoff- “Very well - let us put your foremost questions to rest. Yes, I am from the Underdark - the city of Menzoberranzan, in fact. Yes, desperate circumstances forced me to the surface, and no, I will not elaborate. I am not a spy for my brethren or the Spider Queen, nor am I a threat to you - for now. I do not ‘like’ the surface world; it is merely where I live now, and I have no strong feelings about it. Save for the sun, perhaps. That wretched thing could do my eyes a favour and explode someday.”

38. If a player character asks them to consider consuming tadpoles or using the Astral tadpoles, how would your Tav/Durge respond?

“Have you lost your mind? A tadpole nests within our skulls and you think to consume another? Power or no, the consequences will be brutal - mentally and physically. Nothing it can give us is worth the cost.” [Persuade Success] -slow, heavy sigh- “Fine. Power always comes at a cost, but if it helps us survive, then… -glances away- I suppose I have nothing left to lose.” <a/n: regretful, depressed>

39. If romanceable, what lines would they say if a player character prompted them with, “Can I kiss you?”

“Why don’t you come here and find out?” “I’ve been thinking about you all day. Come here.” “You’d better, before I wither without your touch.”

40. If romanceable, what would they say if a player character asks for a “last kiss” at the Morphic Pool/HIgh Hall?

“No better excuse, hm? But then, you never needed one. Come here.” [kiss happens] “I have always fought for battle itself, to find the most vicious fight worthy of taking my life. But today, and every day after, I shall fight to see the next sunrise - with you, for you.”

[the-umiran-amulet]

As Cary had suspected, Benny was a relentless chatterbox. He talked a lot about the stars, of days spent studying them, learning how to navigate by them, reading the stories that their ancestors had come up with about them. Some of the things he said made it sound like he had even been up in the heavens to see them in person. It made Cary laugh about how completely, well, starstruck he sounded about them.

He switched tracks easily enough though, when nudged with another topic. “So how does a noble end up fighting as a soldier? Most of our experiences with your lot, you all do whatever you can to get out of it.”

“Oh? Figured that out, did you?”

“Most people in the lower classes can’t spare the kind of gold it takes for magic lessons.”

Benny shrugged. “Seemed like the right thing to do. Too many of my ‘kinsmen’ are all too happy to sit around at home while so many other people are dying. I thought maybe I could shame them into taking action, or something. At the very least, I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do something to actively help. There are few enough mages fighting this war on our side as it is, maybe I can help to save a few people.”

“And have you?”

“I don’t know. I hope so.”

Later that day, Benny got his bandages removed. Cary wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting, but a mass of copper-colored ringlets wasn’t it. He had never seen such vibrant red hair before. The doctor gave his head one final check, then declared him to be in the clear.

Benny still didn’t leave, though.

“Depleted magicka reserves,” the mage explained when Cary gave him a confused look. “The head wound is what landed me here—along with a few other, smaller physical injuries, of course—but that’s what’s keeping me here.”

“And how does that happen?”

“Overexertion,” Benny said with a shrug. “It was a pretty nasty battle. I’d like to think that me giving it my all is why so many of the other soldiers in my division made it out alive, but I was knocked out at some point, so I can’t say for sure. Last thing I can remember, I was trying to catch my breath, and then a sharp pain exploded in my skull. Whoever it was must have been in a hurry, to just leave me lying on the ground after that, but I’m not complaining. I was still one of the lucky ones.” Cary nodded his understanding. “The doctors here have never seen a case as bad as mine before. I do feel fine now, my head was what I was more concerned about, but I guess it’s their job to worry. I mean, that sort of thing can have long term or even permanent effects on a person.”

“The... depleted magicka reserves, you mean?”

Benny nodded. “Left untreated, it could have permanently damaged my ability to cast spells. But I’m well on my way to recovery now,” he added when Cary gave him a concerned look. “They’ll probably let me go home in a couple more days.”

The thought saddened the twins. Though they had only known each other for twenty-four hours at this point, they had already come to be fond of Benny. Even knowing who they were now, even having heard the rumors of what happened at Southlake Point, he didn’t pry, or push them to describe what they had seen there. Instead he chattered brightly about the stars, or about his siblings (he had five, a mix of brothers and sisters, of which he was the youngest), or his magic lessons he took while growing up. When he did ask them questions, they were about their parents, or what life was like while they were growing up.

“We grew up in Studsboro,” Cary answered at length. “Small town, west of Bricksburg. Mum and Dad still live there. It’s a fishing town, right on the coast, with a thick wood on its eastern side. We played there a lot when we were young, the other kids thought we were too strange to play with.”

“Do you have any siblings?” Benny asked, leaning forward in his curiosity to the point that he nearly fell off his bed. He caught himself before he could do a faceplant on the floor.

Cary nodded. “Our younger brother, Keelan. He’s still at home with Mum and Dad. They didn’t manage to have us until later in life, so he looks after them and helps around the house.”

Benny smiled. “That’s sweet of him.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon trading stories about the mischief they and their siblings got up to as children. Benny’s current tale of how his eldest brother had trained their dog to eat his homework had the twins in stitches. Cary couldn’t remember ever laughing so much before.

“And we found that out the hard way, too. I had just finished my homework, and set it down on the counter to get myself a snack. When I came back like two minutes later, Curly had it all over the floor and ripped to pieces. I mean, you can not imagine the look on my teacher’s face when I had to tell her my dog really did eat my homework, my mom even had to write her a letter to back up my story—”

Cary tried, very unsuccessfully, to stifle his giggles when a nurse brought in their supper. As if the contents of Benny’s tales weren’t hilarious enough on their own, he was also such an animated storyteller. The nurse eyed him warily as she handed over his tray. “I’m glad to see your mood has improved,” she ventured. Cary snorted. She gave Benny his tray before turning and leaving, seemingly in a rush. Benny burst into laughter.

“Have you been terrorizing the hospital staff?”

“Maybe,” Cary admitted with a grumble. “Can you really blame me though, when they kept setting up loud mouthed idiots in here that couldn’t leave us well enough alone? Nosy bastards.” Benny snickered.

“Nah. I think I’d probably be pretty grumpy too, if people kept asking me dumb questions like that.”

The twins couldn’t fight down their melancholy when Benny was finally released a couple days later. They would miss his ridiculous stories and impromptu astronomy lectures (even if they barely understood a word he said when he got going). They glanced up when he emerged from the attached bathroom again, finally wearing something other than the loose shirt and pants provided by the hospital. He looked every inch the noble he was supposed to be, dressed in such fine clothes, his blue silk vest covered in embroidered silver starbursts, the rest of his slightly darker blue suit also trimmed in silver to match. The black leather of his boots looked so soft that Cary almost couldn’t resist reaching out to touch them. Benny only gave him a knowing smirk when he spotted the soldier catching himself.

“It really was nice getting to know you both,” he eventually spoke. Even he could sense the somber atmosphere the room had taken on. “You said you live in Bricksburg, right?” Cary nodded. “Look me up sometime, whenever you get home. I don’t really have any friends, anymore, so I’d like to keep in touch. If that’s all right with you.”

They almost couldn’t believe their ears. Benny really considered them his friends? Cary nodded eagerly. It took him a moment to find his voice again. “Yeah, of course. We’d like that too.” Benny smiled brightly at them before finally waving goodbye and leaving the room.

They weren’t paired with anyone else after that.

It was still another week before the twins were finally declared fit for release, and though they still weren’t cleared to return to active duty, General Mooring had sent them a letter requesting their presence at Headquarters once they were home and able to make the trip.

It wasn’t the letter Alastar was hoping for. That letter never made an appearance, driving their already morose mood even further down.

Their parents and brother had traveled all the way from Studsboro to the hospital in Platon to see them and bring them home. They appreciated the help—it would have been even slower going, trying to manage by themselves when they still required crutches to get around. Though the doctors had removed their cast, the torn calf muscle would take several weeks to heal yet.

The trip back to Bricksburg took four days. Cary and Alastar were both grateful that their parents had insisted on bringing the horse and cart. They had even had the forethought to put cushioning in the back of the cart for the twins to sit or lay on so they would be more comfortable. Nora, Daniel, and Keelan took turns driving so they could all spend equal time with the twins.

“When do you think they’ll let you return to active duty?” their mother asked once they were settled back in their cottage.

“I don’t know,” Cary sighed. “After what happened at Southlake... Well, there’s no telling what they’ll decide. I just hope my record up until that point will be enough to convince them it was a fluke.” Nora sighed and gave her sons a tight hug.

“If not, then maybe I can stop worrying about you boys so much.” Cary managed a weak smile and hugged her back.

“We’ll be fine, Mum.”

“Are you sure you don’t need us to stay?” Daniel asked.

“Positive, Dad. Our leg’s feeling so much better already. We’ll manage.”

“Independent to a fault,” Keelan teased, earning a huff and a ruffling of his hair. He grinned at his brothers as he straightened his hair out again. The twins accepted a final kiss from their mother, and hugs from their father and brother, before their family finally stepped back out through their front door and began their own journey home.

Cary sighed.

Don’t despair yet, Alastar tried to encourage. The General only said to meet with him once we got home. He didn’t give any indication that what he has to say is bad.

“He didn’t give any indication that what he has to say is good either,” Cary muttered in response. “But let’s get this over with.”

They got themselves cleaned up and changed into fresh clothes, then flagged down a carriage to take them to Headquarters, where the General would be waiting for them. Cary stared out of the window during the ride, unable to help the churning feeling in his stomach. Alastar was right—he knew he shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions, but he simply couldn’t help himself, when he had no information whatsoever to go on. His twin did his best to try to help keep him calm, but even Alastar was feeling some apprehension. Sterling record or not, they did just have one hell of a botched battle. There was no salvaging that.

Finally they arrived, and Cary hobbled his way into the building. The guard at the door was kind enough to open it for him, at least. They made their way to the General’s office. “Sir?” Cary called to announce their presence.

“Callaghan,” the General greeted with a curt nod. “About time.”

A stone formed in their stomach, and their apprehension only grew. He didn’t have the patience for all the formal bullshit, and decided to cut right to the chase. “What’s the verdict, sir.”

“Trial. You’re to be dishonorably discharged after.”

Cary closed his eyes against the overwhelming grief. “Yes, sir.”